Sunday, May 3, 2009

And They're Off.

Saturdays are sometimes the busiest day of the week.

Sometimes on a nice Saturday, you are required to attend different
events, such as...

Work Picnics
Bar Mitzvahs
Oldies Concerts
A Child's Birthday Party

Now don't get me wrong, some of the most kick ass parties I've
ever been to have been Bar Mitzvahs. I'm just trying to make a point.

But this Saturday, everything in the world felt right.

The Penguins started the second round of the playoffs.
The 135th running of the Kentucky Derby was happening.
And we had plenty of beer to drink.

So it will come as no shock to any of you, that I awoke this fine Saturday
with a smile on my face, and a twinkle in my eye.

That usually only happens on my birthday and my anniversary.
Hubba hubba.

So the time came for the Pens game. We had a few cold ones, and washed
them down with a scrumptious pie from Rosa's.

Crosby scored the first goal and the day was looking even brighter.

Now, I won't bore/annoy you with anymore details of the hockey game.
We lost. Meh.

We got over it quicker than normal, as there were piles of money
in Harmar, just waiting for us to come and pick them up.


We are talking about the most exciting 2 minutes in all of sports.
The Sport of Kings.
The Kentucky Derby!


So we did a little bit of research, and made our way towards
"Pittsburgh's Biggest Outdoor Party."

We were so focused, that we didn't even stop at Glen's Custard
to get a chocolate cone with jimmies on it.

So you know we were all business.

We finally found a primo parking spot in the Bladerunners lot, and
noticed a newer trend at the Harmar Meadows derby party...

Tailgaters.
(Tailgating in the parking lot, of a party, held in the parking lot.)

This town will tailgate any event. And we dig that.


Now, it was about an hour and a half until the big race was going off, so
we figured we had plenty of time to place our winning wagers.

Wrong.

This place was crazier than normal. Bodies pressed up against
bodies in a sweaty/greedy/wallet clutching mass of confusion, highlighted with
overly skinny swarms of Miller Lite Girls.

Just how we like it.
(Security cameras make us nervous, luckily...dreads make us relax.)


Here is a shot of the other people waiting to bet behind us.
Notice all the smiling faces?
(Grey sweater guy was showing us his lucky mole.)



We headed outside for a bit of fresh air, and a drink.
We didn't get either.

(I got lucky and only caught people's heads in this photo, as many of them chose
today to wear shorts for the first time this year, and the bright whites of their
legs may have had damaging effects on my camera lens.)


Random photo of people staring at us.
(I later realized my fly was down and my business was all in the streets.)

So be it.

Well anyways, we didn't win a damn thing. But we learned a valuable life lesson.

People can't keep their eyes off another man's junk, while attending Pittsburgh's
Biggest Outdoor Party, after watching the Pens lose game one in a best
of seven series against the Washington Capitols, instead of going to a child's
birthday or a nice Bar Mitzvah on a Saturday that had so much potential.

Side note:
A 50-1 horse won the Derby, and we forgot to bet it.

I hope grey sweater guy's mole told him to bet the 8 horse.


Lookout Preakness... thenewk.com is coming for you.

2 comments:

Jess said...

Mmmmn Glen's Custard.

theNEWK said...

A documented trip to Glen's is in the foreseeable future. No doubt.

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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.