Friday, December 31, 2010

It's Hard, To Say Goodbye, To 2010

Hey there friends.

Happy Newk Year!

We won't be posting an old story today, as there is a much
more important post that needs to be made.

We've told you a little about this past year for us.

It was challenging.
It was refreshing.
It was a roller coaster ride of emotion.
It flew right by.

We made wonderful new friends.
Ate fabulous new things.
Visited amazing new places.

We will be a little sad to see this year go.

But we look forward, with bright and hopeful eyes, that the
year 2011 will be then best of all our lives.

One thing we know about 2011, we are gonna ring it
in the right way.

By dancing like mo-fo's.

That's right.

We love to dance the night away.

Our moves have been known to make panties drop right off
the ladies.

If you haven't heard this, well... now you know.

If you have a party, and need some dancing fools, just send
us an email and we'll see you there.

We know that not all of you can dance like a Soul Train champion.

So our Newk Years gift to you, is the following video.

It's a scorcher, so prepare yourselves.

It features a young James Brown.

And before you watch it, and say...
"Hey, that's not JB. It's an Imposter!"

Pay close attention, cause it's him.

We don't play around when it comes to the Godfather Of Soul.

Now take this year by the gonads.

And dance like the wind!

Oh, and please be safe.

Drinking and driving sucks for everyone.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Year In Review (2010) - Thursday Edition

Today we focus on destruction.

Similar to the destruction bestowed upon our commodes
after a trip to the Chinese buffet or a stop at the
Pizza Hut.

But anyways, this post was about a structure that we are
all familiar with.

But none of us were sad to see go.

Are we talking about Sha-Kei's Place?


Are we talking about the Zebra Lounge?


Here is what we're talking about...

And The Bridge, Comes Tumbling Down

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Year In Review (2010) - Wednesday Edition

The more we look back at what we've wrote this past
year, we realized a few things.

Two of those things are the facts that we're a bit nuts, and
waaaaaay pervy.

The post we are featuring today showcases both of
those fine traits.

Ya'll ready for this?

Rough Roads And Waterlines

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Year In Review (2010) - Tuesday Edition

It's been one of the strangest years of our lives.


Things with us changed more than any of you are aware, or
even care to know.

But we plowed through.

We didn't let people keep us down.

We got punched in the face, and kept moving forward.

Okay, we think you get the point.

So this week, we will be posting some of our favorite stories
from this past year.

And since it's so damn cold outside, we thought we'd start
with one that will warm your soul, and cool your taste buds.

Ladies and Germs, we present to you...

Warm Weather, Cool Treats

Monday, December 27, 2010

Random Picture Monday (12-27-10)

So we had one more Christmas picture to post.

Sue us.

Actually, please don't sue us. As we don't make any money
doing this site.



Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas, Newk!

Merry Christmas, from the North Pole's Biggest Moose Knuckle!

Err... The North Pole's Biggest Elf!!!

Have a safe and happy holiday, everyone.

We'll see you next week.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

We're Ready For The Fat Man

Yeah, yeah.

We still have 2 days until until the chubby dude slips
his big tookus down our chimney chute.

Fact is, we don't even have a chimney.

But, we do have a laundry chute.


So anyways.

We finished up our wrapping last night, and ate a few
cookies that some friends gave us.

We didn't make it down to the House of 1000, even though
they were tapping a keg of Mad Elf, our favorite holiday brew.

We made our decision, and we have to deal with it.

Now, we really have nowhere to go with today's post, so
here is a list of some of the things we likely won't get
for Christmas, but we want them bad.

2 tickets to the Winter Classic
2 tickets to any Pens game
Blu Ray copy of Dirty Dancing
1 case of Mad Elf
Gift Certificate to any Bar/Pizza Shop in the area
5 orders of Steamed Dumplings from the Panda on Fifth
July 1982 copy of Playboy, featuring The Girls of Ma Bell
(Those phone broads are hot to trot. Hubba Hubba)
A new TV
(Not a 3-D one. We look terrible in those glasses.)
New Windshield Wipers, cause ours chatter.
A new Mangroomer

Thanks, Santa!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Get You Some Of This Spirit

We got tons of crap to wrap.

So we are posting a couple of our awesome videos.

One was made last year, and the other was shot
just last week.

We hope you enjoy.

Well, you better get back to getting
ready for the big day.

We are.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Best Lights In The City

Last New Years Eve, we wrote a piece about new street lights
coming to the downtown section of New Kensington.

Read about it HERE.

We were happy to hear this news.

It was the promise of a brighter day.

Er, brighter night.

Now, we kinda forgot about them, until we drove through town
the other night.

Now, before we show you the pictures we snapped with our phone,
we must warn you...

These are not David Cooper quality.

So please refrain from judging us.

Thank you.

It was snowing, and our wipers suck.

Cut us a break.

5 and 9

We kinda dig this one.

All kinds of lights in this one.

And just in case you forgot, here is a picture of the old lights.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Random Picture Monday (12-20-10)

He made a list, and he's filling it at Giant Eagle.

Friday, December 17, 2010

We're Not Proud Of It

Sorry about the lack of content today.

We were out with local legend DJ Frankie last night, and we may have lost track of time.

That doesn't mean we love you any less.

But it does mean we are going to G&G for a big greasy breakfast.

Have a safe a fun weekend of Christmas parties, everyone.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

We Saw Him!

Kids of all ages...

Prepare to be amazed at the footage we shot last night
on Victoria Ave.

It's very rare that anyone gets to see the big guy before
Christmas day, but we were ready.

We are always ready.

We hope you are ready too.

We'd like to personally thank Santa, and all of his little helpers.

The feeling of Christmas spirit we got from seeing this great
tradition, was totally heart warming.

We hope you got just a tiny bit of spirit from this as well.

Merry Christmas to all.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Yeah, There Are More

We received a couple depressed emails about there
being no more pictures of the New Ken Christmas Parade
taken by the one and only David Cooper.

Lucky for all of you...

We've. Got. More.

He blows us away.

Every time.

Check out his other stuff, and book him for your next
event @

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Weather Is King

Today we talk a little about the weather.

Are you ready?

Here it comes.

This is when we talk about the weather.

Drum roll, please.

It snowed.


And we were out in that crap last night.

It's not as much fun as we remember it being when we
were just little, scabbed-knee Newkers.

The only good thing about this weather, is that it's sled riding

And there are many a good slope in the Newk to be slid upon.

Where are some of your favorites?


And since the weather is king today, we need a queen.

Today's queen is Chelsea, from Chelsea Bakes!

Not only is it her birthday.
(Happy birthday, Chels.)

It's the start of her final push for baked holiday delights.

You can actually get orders in up until, and including, this Friday!

Check out her awesome cookie trays, and other treats here.

Chelsea Bakes! Facebook

She also has a new number...


Mention theNewk when you order, and get a "sweet" coupon
good on your next order.

And don't forget to wish her a happy birthday.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Random Picture Monday (12-13-10)

We're getting close.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Parade Pictures (Day 4, 2010)

Before we show you another batch of amazing pictures,
we have a few people we need to thank.

1. David "DC" Cooper

He came out in the cold, and took some of the greatest pictures
ever shot at the New Kensington Christmas Parade.

He is our main man.

2. Gatto's Cycle Shop

George hooked us up with a couple golf carts that we cruised
that morning.

He also provided the trailer that our friends in girl scout
troop 20134 used for their Hawaiian Christmas float.

Thanks Gatto's!

3. Steve
(website has yet to have been published)

Steve picked up our golf carts, and is the unsung hero
of the day.

You rock, Steve.

4. Our Elf, and the elf's helpers.
(website has yet to have been published)

We couldn't have done anything without you all.

Party on.

Here are more pictures...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Parade Pictures (Day 3, 2010)

Well, we've already done 2 days of pictures (to rave reviews).

So let's keep this train a rollin', shall we?

All photos by

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Parade Pictures (Day 2, 2010)

More pictures today from our main man David Cooper,
of the New Ken Christmas Parade.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Parade Pictures (Day 1, 2010)

Our main man David Cooper met up with us this
past Saturday to take some pictures of the New Ken

As if you didn't already know...

David Cooper is a beast.

His pictures make our business go from 6 to midnight.

His website is:

Go look at it, and be impressed.

If you need pictures, please call him.


Don't worry, folks.

There are a lot more to come.

This is just a little sample of his work.

A little 'nibbler,' if you will.

Have a great Tuesday, Newkers.