Tuesday, August 30, 2011

We Request Your Patience

We have a few things happening around here, and our posts may be lacking in the information/humor/wicked-awesome departments.

We would love for ya'll to email us some thoughts/stories/pictures/news articles for us to post.

So...how bout it?


Thanks for the patience, and the help.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Random Picture Monday (08-29-11)

Another reader submission.

Thanks, Dustin!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Stay Dry, My Friends

We know many Newkers that live up and down the
eastern seaboard.

We would like to wish them, and all the other
people in Irene's way, a safe weekend.

We will be tuned into The Weather Channel all weekend.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Not This Time

Yesterday, we asked our facebook readers if anyone
witnessed a hit and run on the 9th st. bridge at around
5:45 pm.

We didn't get any information as of yet, but we are
are from done.

A person dear to us here at theNewk was coming home from
work (side note for the driver of the hit and run car: that means
they have a job... what a novel idea).

She got onto the bridge, and noticed a car behind her trying
to get into line.

They persuaded a white truck to let them in.

As traffic made it's way inbound, the female passenger (blond hair/
red t-shirt) of the red car (with a nascar license plate on the front of it)
decided she would repay the kind act of the line jump, by standing
up in the sunroof, and flashing her likely saggy cans.

The male driver of the red car was too busy watching his passenger
whip out her floppies, to notice he was about to plow into the rear of
our friend's nearly paid off car.

Our friend surely noticed, as she braced for impact.


With her bumper hanging off the car, she was flustered and tried
to get off the bridge and see the damage.

As she moved forward for a safe and reasonable place to assess the
damage and exchange information, the red car fled the scene towards
the Parnassus freeway.

She was unable to follow the a-holes, so she called the police.

Which seemingly turned out to be a huge mistake.

As we arrived to the scene before they even did.
(And we were in the shower when we got the call.)

And instead of acting like anything wrong had even taken place, he
proceed to act annoyed and inconvenienced by this, and offered
his advice as to what "he would have done" in this situation.

As if he, and the 150 pound lighter/14 inches shorter female were
to have the same vigilante-justice style instincts to conduct a
self-initiated man hunt on the titty-flasher and her getaway driver.

So it's safe to say, we lost a little respect/trust in our local law
enforcement, which saddens us greatly.

Will will not mention him by name, because maybe he was just
having a rough day.

We have a few close friends that are officers of the law, and we know
it's not an easy gig.

We tried to justify his attitude, saying he must deal with a
ton of stuff around here, and it's hard to care about every single
call you have to respond to.

But you can at least step out of your SUV and talk to us, no?

So anyways, now that we got that out.

We want the fine folks in the red (possible late 90's Pontiac Grand Am,
or another American made POS with a pointy front) car to keep
a look out for us.

Cause when we find you, and we will find you, you will be hearing
from an annoyed police officer.

And I doubt you'll be in much of an exhibitionist mood that day.

(The only skin you might be showing, is when we stick that nascar
plate up your b-hole.)

Please, if anyone has any information at all...

White truck guy.
Random traffic driver.
Bridge walker.
Neighbor of a newly damaged red car owner.

Hell, maybe the PWT grew a conscience over night, and plan
to actually do the right thing for once in their lives?

Please email us here at thenewkblog@gmail.com, and we
promise to keep any tips confidential.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Felt It

That's what she said...

Yeah, we felt the tremors yesterday afternoon.

For those of you that have no idea what we're talking about.
As if there are any of you that just crawled out from under a rock.

The was an earthquake that hit Virginia yesterday, and the
shock waves were felt all over the east coast.

Even right here in the Newk.

Too bad it didn't shake that traffic light at Fifth and 9th
the cement below, and smash that useless thing into 578 pieces.

Honestly, every day that light negatively affects our day.

Anyways, did you feel it?

And if so, what were you doing when you felt it?

We were peeing, and this is one time that it actually
our fault that we hit the rim.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

We Smell Pigskin

With cooler temps allowing us to enjoying our days
without becoming too musty in our musty regions.

Our thoughts start to turn to football season.

C'mon people, is there any better way to spend a Friday
evening with friends and family than going out to support
your local high school football team?

Well, we can think of one, but we need a giant
stack of dollar
bills for that place.

We are a little less than 2 weeks away from our season opener
@ home, vs. our biggest rival Burrell.

And we are pumped.

No matter how the Vikings are projected to finish, you should
have no problem getting pumped up for this game.

We remember back in our day (the mid 90's), the build up to
the Burrell game.

There was a good bit of nonsense leading up to the game.

We won't get into details, but sales of spray paint and
toilet paper
would usually quadruple in the area.

We wonder what kids these days do to get ready for such a big game?

We will guess...

They will wear their pants below their asses, and take
a bunch of pictures of themselves in mirrors.

We are likely wrong, but we're damn close.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Random Picture Monday (08-22-11)

Reader Submitted Photo:

Thanks, Kim.

It's a peach.

Friday, August 19, 2011


We really do have the best readers.

It's just that sometimes our readers don't have the
best camera phones.

We got a text yesterday (only our closest or readers get our
text hotline, so now you have something to work towards).

That text had a picture in it, and the text was titled...

"My phone camera suckkkkkkks"

A truer statement has never been texted.

But the picture...

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, the picture...

Is awesome!

We looked at this picture with great wonderment.

A few minutes, and confused looks later, we texted back to
find out what the hell we were blankly staring at.

We got our answer...

It's the bat mobile!

Our friend was downtown having lunch, and saw some of the
filming of the new Batman movie.

Being a solid friend, she took a picture and sent it to us.

We told her that it was probably the greatest picture we have ever
received, and likely ever would.

We then told her it would be posted immediately.

She was stoked.

To the rest of you (and you also, C.), feel free to keep great
pictures coming.

Send em to our email, if you aren't on the "Yes Friends" text list.



We posted a J-Dub game yesterday.

It was great success.

We got a bunch of emails from winners.

This one stood out...

Hey guys,

He’s in the Leffe six pack. Great blogsite you have goin on here. I currently live in San Antonio, TX, but lived in New Ken until 80’. Went in the military and was stationed down south til 93’. Got out of the military and by then everything had changed (shutdown) back home so decided to stay down here. I lived on the corner of 5th st and 6th ave on the second floor of the house. Keep up the good work. Its nice to hear that things seem to be picking back up again.



We love those emails.

Thanks, J!

And thanks as well to the rest of you for playing and emailing.

Well played.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thursday Game (J-Dub Style)

Today we are playing a game.

We took J-Dug shopping with us on a recent road-trip.

He got lost in his favorite section of the store.

Can you find him?

(Hint: Clicking the picture should open up the full sized
version in another tab.)

(Hint #2: We suck at technical stuff, so the hint we just gave you
may be a total waste of your time.)


Did you find him?

Email us @ thenewkblog@gmail.com and brag about it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Clear Our Name

A while back, we talked about how New Kensington/Arnold school
district was red flagged for possible cheating on the 2009
state assessment test.

They were one of 90 schools in Pa.

Most people around this area just figured we were guilty,
because we are New Ken, and New Ken is where the riff-raff

We knew in our hearts that we aren't cheaters.

We are many things, but cheaters... we are not.

But now it looks as though our name will be cleared.


The reason for the flagging, is that 9 registered students moved
out of the district and never took the test.

We assume something like that would make it
look like we told
the not-so-bright kids to stay at home that day,
so our
scores would be better.

We also had a low economic subgroup of 45 students, and only
39 took the test.

6 students moved, which explains that one as well.

We are happy to see our name clearing in the near future.


To those of you that passed judgment on the day the initial
allegations came out, we say to you...

Nah-na nah-na boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Bring Em' Back

Not long, we talked about the disturbing amount of teachers
being let go by many area schools.

Sure we focused on New Ken/Arnold school district.

But that's what we do.

We talk about this area.

Seriously... is this your first time reading this site?

So anyways, we just heard that at least 1 teacher may be returning
to the halls of Fort Crawford elementary school this year.

It seems that a stipulation in the new contract limits class size
to 20 students.

The 1st grade class at that school was expecting 40 kids.

That's 2 classes.

How about our math skills, eh?

But so far there have been 53 kids enrolling for first grade.

So as soon as the school board members shake this illness that
prevented all but 2 of them to make the last meeting, they will
likely take the necessary steps to bring a teacher back.

(They must have come down with that Vacation Season Bug that's
been going around lately.)

They will also try to keep the in-school suspension monitors employed
this year, as sending kids home to watch tv and post on facebook,
isn't quite as much punishment as forcing them to do work in a cold
and flickering halogen light filled room, while sitting at a rather uncomfy desk.

Much like Joe Versus the Volcano...

Such an underrated movie.

Go add it to your Netflix queue.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Random Picture Monday (08-15-11)

Kind of a weak attempt.

But it's been awhile, so we'll take it.

Friday, August 12, 2011

A Letter From J-Dub

What up, Newkers?

It's you boy J-Dub here. This is just a quick letter to let ya'll know that I've been laying rather low this summer. I mean, I've been getting out with the fellas on Thursday nights for drinks, but other than that there isn't much to report. Although I do have some travel plans coming up very soon. So be on the lookout for some sweet new pics.

But anyways, things have been kinda quiet. Frank the Stank and I have slugged a couple 40's on a rare occasion, which let me tell you, is quite the experience. I know the Newk boys have been talking about have a night out with the readers, so I'll be sure to lean on em a bit for you.

Before I go, I wanted to give a shout out to Angry Rich. Where you at, playa?

Peace and chicken grease-

Your homie,


We love that little Mack Daddy.

Have a great weekend, friends.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

"Your" Killing Us

If you're on facebook, and you're friends with people
from New Kensington, it's likely that some of them have
been posting fond memories of theirs on a group wall.

Many of the memories are funny, witty, and downright awesome.

If you're a member, you already know this.

It's too bad that the grammar in the title of the group is what is
preventing us from joining in on the fun.

The name of the facebook group is :

"You know your from New Ken when..."

And we can't find it in our hearts to join a group like that.

We understand it's a common mistake to get your your/you're usage
a little mixed up.

But when you start a group about a city that is already looked
at with judging eyes, at least take the time to use spell check.

Are we right, people?

So we shall stand here, stubborn and bull-headed
until the name
of the group gets changed.

Maybe we will just share our stories of the New Ken
days of yore, right here?

Oh snap! We straight up went Middle English all up in yo face!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

WolfPack Of One

With back to school shopping in full swing, many area
children and their families are having a tough time
paying for all of the needed supplies.

Luckily, there are good people out there.
Other than us, duh.

The Salvation Army and Huntington Bank teamed up to give away
nearly 100 backpacks to local kids.

This is the 3rd year of backpack program.

Over 1000 kids in Western Pa will get a free backpack, with a notebook
and a pencil inside.

This really is a saving grace for many families, as the price of going
back to school raised 25% this year alone.


That's crazy.

Now, the backpacks didnt have the Teletubbies, or Elmo, or
Justin Bieber's swoopy haircut on them.

But they did have a nice array of flavors (colors) for the kids
to choose from.

Stories like this give us the warm fuzzies.

It would have been cool if programs like this were around back
when we were in school.

Although, we wouldn't rock anything but a sweet JanSport.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Get In My Office!

Throughout our days at Valley, we heard those words
many times over.

Our offenses ranged from skipping out on morning classes
to enjoy some King's breakfast out in Plum, to enjoying lunch
and a smoke out in our Chevy Eurosport in the main lot.

Looking back, we could have done a lot worse.

But at the time, we felt as though we just got pinched for murder.

But now, folks from this area that also found themselves in a little
bit of trouble, don't have to travel quite as far as they used to.

TheNewk is getting it's own county probation office.

We know, we know... we already hear the snide remarks...

"New Ken needs one, har har har..."
"No better place for it, yuck yuck yuck..."
"I'm surprised it took so long... dur dur dur..."

Fact is, we did have one up until a year ago, but they've been looking for
a new location for this one, so this news isn't all that newsworthy.

We appreciate being the only other field office (Monessen), for people
to stay on the right track.

Getting transportation isn't always the easiest thing to do.

We are very aware of that.

Next, they are going to try and get video conferencing going, to make
checking in that much more efficient.

High-tech probation...

Gotta love it.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Random Picture Monday (08-08-11)

Saturday morning look at St. Pete's Festa Italiana.

Hope you got some sauce.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Vacation Daze

Yeah, we deserve a day off.

See ya Monday.

Let's go Bucs!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

August Already

So it's August here in the Newk.

And what have you done?

Go through this list and give yourself a point for each one
you've done...

Did you go to Community Days?
Did you have a blizzard from Dairy Queen?
(Triple points if you had one from the Freeport Rd. location)
Did you spend time on the Allegheny River?
Did you walk the Valley track?
Did you have a beer at Joe's Place?
Did you drive past the Biff wall, and say "where the eff is it?"
Did you go to the Memorial Day Parade?
Did you attend the New Ken Fireworks Block Party?
Did you eat a Rosa's pizza?
Did you throw a brick at your tv after watching Brenchal
walk through the door on Big Brother 13?
Did you buy anything at the Mt. Vernon Yard Sales?
Did you eat pancakes at the EKCC?
Did you party on Farm Hill?
Did you buy a Biff shirt?
Did you "like" every facebook post we made?
(We know there is only one person to get this one...
shout out
to John Doubt. Just sayin.)
Did you buy theNewk team a round of drinks?
Did you ask yourself... "Where has J-Dub been?"
Did you actually keep track of your score in this?

There it is.

Our Summer Game.

Post your score in the comments (if you can), or better yet,
under the link of this post on facebook.

Be a big winner like this guy.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

We Feel Safe

This Saturday, and for the next week or so, more than
500 volunteer firefighters will be in the Newk.

That's because the Western Pa Fireman's Convention
is coming to town for the first time since 1960.

There's gonna be a parade.
A battle of the barrel.
A golf outing.
And all kinds of other stuff.

The other stuff is highlighted, in our humble opinion, by
the formation of tent city.

Tent city is a makeshift campground where many of the firefighters
that traveled here will be staying.

It will be located between the 1300 blocks of Third and Fifth.

They will be closing that section of Fourth ave.
(So traveler beware.)

Here are some of the highlights and times...

• Saturday: Convention Parade, Downtown New Kensington, 2 p.m.

• Sunday: Battle of the Barrel, New Kensington Fire Company No. 1, 785 Fourth Ave., 9 a.m.

• Sunday: Memorial Service, St. Joseph Church, 1100 block of Kenneth Avenue, New Kensington, 2 p.m.

• Monday: Golf outing, Hill Crest Country Club, Route 56 Bypass, Lower Burrell, 9 a.m.

This is a really big deal in fire world.

So you should get out there and show some support to these fine folks
that put their lives on the line daily to keep us safe.

We want front row seats to the barrel battle fo sho.

Photo courtesy of www.davidcooperphoto.com

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Put It To A Vote

It looks like a second tentative agreement has been
proposed in the contract negotiations going on between
Allegheny Ludlum and the Steelworkers.

If the workers reject this one (as they did the last one), a
strike will likely occur next Tuesday.

Either side would discuss any particulars.

Other than the fact that it would expire June 30th, 2015.

We hope that everything gets worked out, and that both sides
go away happy.

As happy as you can be in these situations.

Because a strike would really suck.

We have many friends, and parents of friends that work in
the mill.

And even if we didn't have personal relationships with these people,
it will still be a large financial hit to the entire area.

We will keep our fingers crossed that it's a good deal.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Random Picture Monday (08-01-11)

NewK from Bouquet Hill

(Courtesy of reader: Jayne)