Thursday, August 25, 2011

Not This Time

Yesterday, we asked our facebook readers if anyone
witnessed a hit and run on the 9th st. bridge at around
5:45 pm.

We didn't get any information as of yet, but we are
are from done.

A person dear to us here at theNewk was coming home from
work (side note for the driver of the hit and run car: that means
they have a job... what a novel idea).

She got onto the bridge, and noticed a car behind her trying
to get into line.

They persuaded a white truck to let them in.

As traffic made it's way inbound, the female passenger (blond hair/
red t-shirt) of the red car (with a nascar license plate on the front of it)
decided she would repay the kind act of the line jump, by standing
up in the sunroof, and flashing her likely saggy cans.

The male driver of the red car was too busy watching his passenger
whip out her floppies, to notice he was about to plow into the rear of
our friend's nearly paid off car.

Our friend surely noticed, as she braced for impact.


With her bumper hanging off the car, she was flustered and tried
to get off the bridge and see the damage.

As she moved forward for a safe and reasonable place to assess the
damage and exchange information, the red car fled the scene towards
the Parnassus freeway.

She was unable to follow the a-holes, so she called the police.

Which seemingly turned out to be a huge mistake.

As we arrived to the scene before they even did.
(And we were in the shower when we got the call.)

And instead of acting like anything wrong had even taken place, he
proceed to act annoyed and inconvenienced by this, and offered
his advice as to what "he would have done" in this situation.

As if he, and the 150 pound lighter/14 inches shorter female were
to have the same vigilante-justice style instincts to conduct a
self-initiated man hunt on the titty-flasher and her getaway driver.

So it's safe to say, we lost a little respect/trust in our local law
enforcement, which saddens us greatly.

Will will not mention him by name, because maybe he was just
having a rough day.

We have a few close friends that are officers of the law, and we know
it's not an easy gig.

We tried to justify his attitude, saying he must deal with a
ton of stuff around here, and it's hard to care about every single
call you have to respond to.

But you can at least step out of your SUV and talk to us, no?

So anyways, now that we got that out.

We want the fine folks in the red (possible late 90's Pontiac Grand Am,
or another American made POS with a pointy front) car to keep
a look out for us.

Cause when we find you, and we will find you, you will be hearing
from an annoyed police officer.

And I doubt you'll be in much of an exhibitionist mood that day.

(The only skin you might be showing, is when we stick that nascar
plate up your b-hole.)

Please, if anyone has any information at all...

White truck guy.
Random traffic driver.
Bridge walker.
Neighbor of a newly damaged red car owner.

Hell, maybe the PWT grew a conscience over night, and plan
to actually do the right thing for once in their lives?

Please email us here at, and we
promise to keep any tips confidential.


GreatwhiteHope said...

Hope they find the sons of bitches

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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.