Best Of 2011 (Friday)

People really dug this post.

We aren't sure why.

But there have since been many requests for another round.


---
03/08/11
Answering Your Questions

Today, we plan on answering a few emails we've received recently.

We get a good bit of email, that resemble the forthcoming ones.

This is a nice way for us to clear up some common questions
every now and again.

Let's get this party started...

Dear theNewK,

I try and read your website every day. It really cracks me up. I just wanted to know why you do it?

Thanks!

-A.

Well, A.

This is a common question, that we have a simple answer to.

It's because we are proud of where we are from, and grew tired
of people (even it's own citizens) talking bad about it.

Some residents would lower their heads when asked where they
are from.

That does not make us happy.

So we decided to try and change the mindset of our fellow Newkers.

We have a lot to be proud of, but nobody seemed to be pointing
those things out.

So here we are.

Like us or hate us, we decided to try and change how this town/area
is perceived by the masses.

And we don't plan on stopping any time soon.

Hi Newk,

Who writes this site?

I think I know you.

-Jennifer

Hello Jennifer.

This question finds its way to our inbox weekly.

We generally answer it by responding...

"We're Batman."

But today, we will answer this question for real.


It's time.

We've hidden for long enough.

We are not Batman, we are...




Michael Keaton.

Yo newk dudes
Whats the haps on the bday party you was talkin bout a little while back? you know ima be there.

frank the stank

What up, Frank?

So yeah, we are trying to get some stuff squared away
with the party planning committee.
(That we so lovingly call "The Spirit Fingers Gang.")

As soon as we have a date, place, reason... we will tell everyone
about it asap.


-
That concludes our email answering session for today.

Have a great Tuesday, friends.

---

Best Of 2011 (Thursday) + Bonus

We covered one of the more memorable moments of
this past year...

And when you are done reading it.

Be sure to check out the important note at the bottom.

---
05/03/11
We Read It On The Twitter

I first heard of the death of Osama bin Laden as I
laid down to sleep on Sunday night around 11pm.

I noticed the twitter feeds were blowing up, even
more than usual.

People were talking about the president planning a late
evening speech, and the buzz was that of a possible big
announcement that we finally got to Osama.

Now, for most of that evening, I was watching the Phillies
take on the Mets in Philadelphia.

What I ended up missing was amazing...



Unreal stuff right there.

That would have been my preferred memory of this moment.

But I have Twitter.

So be it.

-

This morning I felt better than I had in a long time.

The drive to work is a blur.

My American Flag lapel pin shined like a new penny.

It was going to be a great day.

A day I would never forget.

And there aren't many of those types of days during a lifetime, and
I was looking forward to this one.

That was until I started reading about possible conspiracy
theories, and how people think they were being lied to.

This upset me greatly.

This is a time for our country to pull together and stand united.

But it felt more divided than usual.

I thought about going on a one man crusade to try and change the
minds of everyone that thought/felt differently than I did.

But that's not my job.

I actually feel as though I am going outside of my comfort zone, just
writing this much on the website that I contribute to.

So, before I do more harm than good, I will wrap this up.

I want to thank everyone involved in this successful mission.

I support our troops, and believe it when they say they got
their man.

The world is a better place today, and I am thankful to all involved.

USA! USA! USA!



Speaking of wrapping things up...

I think I'll buy some stock in Reynolds Wrap, as I can
just hear all the foil hats being made around me.





---



From The Mayor's Office:

Garbage pickup for Friday, December 30, 2011 and January 6, 2012 will be picked up as scheduled in the City of New Kensington. There will be NO DELAY this week due to the Christmas and New Years Holidays. There will be NO RECYCLING, however, on January 2, 2012 for those residents with Monday pickup.

Best Of 2011 (Wednesday)

Today, we go back to just after the Steelers lost in the Super Bowl
to the Packers.

It's not a memory we enjoy reliving.

But it was a seriously good post.


---

02/08/11
Super Bowl Wasn't So Super


So, just like most of you, we watched the Super Bowl
this past Sunday night.

Ours hopes for another championship were as high
as an eagle's ass.

We got together, shared beers and tons of yummy morsels.

We cheered.
We laughed.
We high-fived.
We ate.
We yelled at a pet bird that kept on chirping.

It was your quintessential Super Bowl party.

The only thing that was missing was a victory for our
beloved Steelers.

But we lost.

So be it.

We are a proud group, we Steeler fans.

No doubt, victory would have been celebrated with great
ferocity and complete joy.

But we lost.

So be it.

We lost with class.

We wouldn't trade these last two weeks for anything.

It was like the holidays all over again around here.

People smiled a little easier.

We shared a common goal.

And for that, we are thankful.


So, without further ado, here is our take on the Super Bowl.


It started out with a Pittsburgh native effing up our
national anthem.

(The majority of us here would likely still schtoop her, if given
the chance.)


We then got scored on a bunch, and things looked bleak.


Then the Black Eyed Peas to the stage at halftime, and
things got even bleaker.

Ugh.

If you didn't already know, we loathe the Black Eyed Peas.

They stunk up the stage.

They only thing that could have saved the performance, would
have been a wardrobe malfunction, where the Chavez one
tore the breastplate off that Fergie dude.

We could seriously go on for days, but we'll spare you.

Until next week, when we're sure they'll do another performance
for something, cause they don't seem to turn down any gig
where they can make a buck, and dress like a-holes.

If Roger Goodell wasn't such a hardon, he would have booked
our man Keenan Cahill to rock the joint.




Editor's Note:
If you didn't watch that video, go back and do it now.


The Steelers started to play better.

We started getting our hopes up.


Then the best commercial of the night hit...

Our lives were changed forever.

That kid is epic.


So the game continued, and the Miller Lites kept on flowing.

We came close to having the biggest comeback victory in SB
history, but we all know it wasn't meant to be.

The game ended.

We packed up some leftovers.

Then went home, and swore off Sportscenter for at least
the next 8 days.

Even karaoke couldn't take away the pain we were
going through.


All in all, a memorable night with friends.

Nothing like your team being in the Super Bowl.

We'll take it every year.

Best Of 2011 (Tuesday)

Normally at the end of the year, we list one of our favorite
posts of the year each day.

Not only does it remind you of big things from this past year, it
also allows us some much needed rest between holidays.

But we are going to start this year's list with a multi-post listing.

These were post the week of January 10th-14th.

Enjoy...

---
01/10/11
Random Picture Monday (01-10-10)


It's not a UFO.


Although, that would be awesome.


---

01/11/11
Take A Look At This





Are the Winter Olympics being held in Fawn Twp?


These, and many other questions answered very soon.

Right here...

at theNewk.




=

Today is 1/11/11

We don't have anything cool to say about it.

Just thought we'd tell you.

Carry on.



---

01/12/11
Smoke On The Water, Fire In The Sky

So the last couple days, we've showed a picture

and a video about the mystery flame that is
terrorizing the imaginations of many a Newker.

We've received a few emails, photos, and have been reading
all about it on the facebook.

Here are some shots of it.




And the best of the bunch.
(Sent in from Top 10 Reader - Ed)


Here are some of the theories going around...

- The Olympics are being held in Fawn.
- It's a Jimi Hendrix tribute.
- A monument made for us, cause we beat Fire and Flames
on the hard setting playing Guitar Hero.
- A spot for shopping smokers to congregate.
- ALIENS!!!!
- World's Biggest Tiki Torch
- S'mores Station

Those are all great theories.

And we would believe any one of them, if we didn't
actually know the truth.

The fact is, it's a natural gas well flare.

It's a controlled burn used to release pressure and test the
volume of gas in the well.

And it can be seen for miles, and sounds like a freight
train when you're right up on it.

You can actually see the flame from the top of
Drey St.

And while on Drey, head on down the hill to see this
little beauty...


So anyways.

It's probably gonna be burning for a couple weeks, so you
can all just chill out.

There is one thing we'd like to ask the fine folks at the
Marcellus Shale Mine...

When the time has come to extinguish this beast of a
flame, we were hoping you'd allow us to snuff it out,
voted off the island Survivor style?

Get at us.


---


01/13/11
Flame Off

We have it on good authority that the Pittsburgh Mills
Mystery Flame has been put out.

It was just yesterday that we explained to our 13 readers
what the heck that thing was.

Now, it's gone.

All we have are the glowing memories embedded deep
inside of our imaginative brains.

So to honor this fleeting light.

We would like to recognize some of our other
favorite flames.




The flame of a Zippo lighter.


JFK's Eternal Flame


Rock Band: The Flaming Lips


Calgary Flames Great: Joe Nieuwendyk


Porn Star: Penny Flame


And of course, the Olympic Flame.



And last, but not least...

Our Old High School Flame

We still own that tux.

Jealous?




In closing...

We will miss you, Pittsburgh Mills Mystery Flame.

You lit up our world, if only for the briefest of moments.



---


01/14/11
Flamed Out


What a week, huh?

Yeah, we've been all hot and bothered around here, due
to the Pittsburgh Mills Mystery Flame.

We've been posting about it all week.

As if you didn't notice.

And to be honest, just like the flame...

We are burned out.

Seriously.

After the week we had, and partying it up at the Pig
last night with DJ Frankie, we don't have much
left in our collective tanks.



So...

Go Pens.
Go Steelers.
Go Bananas.

B-a-n-a-n-a-s!


---




Not a bad start, to a stellar year.

See ya tomorrow.

Looking Back (06/30/09)

Today we look back at a classic post about
Community Days.

It has pictures.
It has food.
It has local legends.

It's really one of our favorites.

Here is the link...

Community Daze



-

Tonight is game 7.

It's go time, Pens.

Do it.

Feels Like Yesterday

Welcome To theNEWK!

This is your one stop interweb place for all things concerning the
New Kensington, Pa. and surrounding areas.

We will have everything from restaurant reviews to
local events and personalities.

Check back daily and don't forget to tell your friends.




-

That was our very first post, just a short 2 years ago today.

That's right kids... it's our 2 year anniversary!

OMG!

What did you get us???

We bet it's something totally awesome...

Like a bunch of porn or a case of PBR Light, huh?


But it's cool if you didn't get us anything.

Most of you didn't even know until right now anyways.


Now, as we looked back, and reposted our first ever entry, we
thought about how great that first post was.

Seriously, go back and read it again.

If you were one of the lucky 2 people that actually clicked on
our site that day, you would have know immediately that over the
next two years, some of the greatest internet literary works would
fly from our well groomed fingertips.

So here's our plan for the this week...

Other than filling you in on the goings-ons around the Newk, we will
take you back to some of our most favorite pieces.

It will be a ride like no other, so buckle up, and hang on to
your nipples.


Now, knowing us, we will likely just post past articles and nothing new.

Because we look for any excuse to take a little time off from this site.

Don't get us wrong, we love doing it.

(We also love "doing it," you know... in the perverted sense.)

If we didn't have this site, we would probably have too much time
on our hands, and be forced to do things such as...

Donate time to charities.
Go to the gym.
Visit more with our families.
Travel this great country.

So thank jeebus we have this site, eh?

We kid, we kid.

Now tell us how great we are, and what a difference we've made
in your life.

Year In Review (2010) - Thursday Edition

Today we focus on destruction.

Similar to the destruction bestowed upon our commodes
after a trip to the Chinese buffet or a stop at the
Pizza Hut.

But anyways, this post was about a structure that we are
all familiar with.

But none of us were sad to see go.


Are we talking about Sha-Kei's Place?

No.

Are we talking about the Zebra Lounge?

Negative.


Here is what we're talking about...


And The Bridge, Comes Tumbling Down

Year In Review (2010) - Wednesday Edition

The more we look back at what we've wrote this past
year, we realized a few things.

Two of those things are the facts that we're a bit nuts, and
waaaaaay pervy.

The post we are featuring today showcases both of
those fine traits.

Ya'll ready for this?


Rough Roads And Waterlines

Year In Review (2010) - Tuesday Edition

It's been one of the strangest years of our lives.

Seriously.

Things with us changed more than any of you are aware, or
even care to know.

But we plowed through.

We didn't let people keep us down.

We got punched in the face, and kept moving forward.

Okay, we think you get the point.


So this week, we will be posting some of our favorite stories
from this past year.

And since it's so damn cold outside, we thought we'd start
with one that will warm your soul, and cool your taste buds.

Ladies and Germs, we present to you...

Warm Weather, Cool Treats