Still Closed. Always Relevant.

Sure, we may not be around all that much these days. 

But that doesn't mean people aren't still watching us. 

Last Monday, we gave you a hint to the following day's story. 

Tuesday, we hit you with the news that the Memorial Park bridge was being removed/replaced. 

We told you to go say your goodbyes. 

Fast forward 2 days later to Thursday, and you could read about it in the local paper. 

Lucky for you, being one of our valued readers (or 1300+ facebook fans), you were given time to pay your final respects, thanks to us. 

For free. 

And now, the bridge has been fully removed, and all ways in to the park are closed. 

Actually, that last statement is not fully true. 

Fact is, the walking bridge near the playground is still fully functional. 

Unfortunately for everyone, the nearest parking spot would be in the Terrace. 

And we all know that the only parking spots up there are for handicap vehicles, or occupied by a folding chair. 

So good luck with that. 

Maybe the VND can do a story on that? 

How about it? 

We know you're reading this. 

It's So Hard...

To say goodbye, to yesterday. 

(Your mind was total pervert mode when you read that title.)

The we hit you upside your pervy mind with some hot Boys II Men lyrics. 

But anyways, today is your last chance to take a ride across the Memorial Park bridge. 

That rickety beast is about to be replaced, and likely won't make it till sundown tomorrow. 

It's a sad day for many of us. 

The sound of that bridge likely reminds you of many great childhood memories. 

If not, you have no soul. 

Or maybe you just played at another one of the city's parks. 

Either way... 

Have a quick moment of silence. 

Pour out a slug of your 40oz. 

Drop a tear in a bucket. 

And say goodbye to the bridge. 

It has served us all very well. 

Trash Update

We are your site for all garbage news... 

Garbage pickup for Friday, November 23, 2012 will be ONE DAY LATE due to the Thanksgiving Day Holiday.  

Garbage will be picked up on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2012 for this week only.  

Also note that RECYCLING is cancelled for those with THURSDAY & FRIDAY pick-ups for this week only.

- 

Gobble Gobble.

Change Of Plans

First off, Happy Halloween. 

We love this holiday. 

Men cover their faces, and women wear less clothing. 

Throw a turkey in the mix, and we might not be able to stand it. 

But here is the real reason why we are posting today... 

Due to the recent weather issues, the city has decided to postpone tonight's Halloween trick-or-treating until this Saturday (5:30 - 8pm). 

We like this decision. 

No, not because it makes sense to keep the children safe. 

(Which it does) 

Because it gives us an extra few days to perfect our costumes. 

Get it? 

We're ghosts, because we haven't been seen much lately. 

New Site Design

No, our site didn't get a facelift. 

The city's site has been updated. 

And it's pretty sharp.

Go ahead, take a moment and check it out. 

Not only is it fresh, you can download all types of important documents and whatnot. 

www.newkensington.org 

You Know The Drill

Seriously. 

Do we have to actually say the words when we post a picture from the classic movie Men At Work? 

I mean, every time there is a holiday, the chances of garbage pickup being postponed a day, is near 100%. 

So here it is...

Your holiday-week reminder NOT to put your trash out until Friday night/Saturday morning.

We appreciate you not stinking up our block, for an extra 24 hours. 

- 

theNewk HOME

Ramp Stamp

Starting tomorrow, the Tarentum exit off of 28 will be closing for about a month. 

Yup, Exit 14 heading Northbound is gonna be closed for a month. 

Ugh. 

You are going to have to go up to Exit 15, get back on 28 South, and get off at 14 that way. 

What a pain in the tookus. 

They claim that work on the off-ramp will go on "around the clock." 

But they've been saying all kinds of stuff that changes each day. 

First they said "the project will be done in November." 

That has since change to December. 

Work on the East Sixth Avenue ramp was promised to be done this week. 

Last we heard, it's gonna be another 2-3 weeks. 

Luckily for all of us, these people aren't doctors... 

"Yes, we'll have that ingrown fingernail all fixed up in just a couple minutes." 

8 hours later... 

"It looks like you're gonna have to learn how to starting doing everything with your left arm.  We ran into a few complications, and your right arm had to be amputated."

More Cones A Comin'

Is if you aren't already annoyed enough with construction at this point. 

We have some news about future projects coming to our area. 

And one in particular. 

The bypass bridge will be getting replaced. 

Yep, the Route 366 bridge over 56 was allocated about 4.7 million bucks.

We are not exactly sure when the work will start.

But it's slated to be finished no later than 2016. 

Excited?

Yeah, neither are we. 













-

HOME 

Oakmont Wins

We don't like to give the city of stupid brick roads (Oakmont) any type of props, but they have clearly beaten the Newk this time. 

 "Remember me?" 


So yeah, you may have heard that New Ken has been having some recent raccoon issues.

Seems an abandoned house has a family of of these pesky buggers living in the roof.

They are coming in and out at all times of the night, and day.

But there is no proof as of yet that they are rabid.

And this is were Oakmont takes the cake.

(get it... Oakmont... cake... Oakmont Bakery...  we are just too much) 

They win because they have the rabid raccoons.

Their raccoon had to be slayed.



Ours, for now, can just be swept off the porch with a broom...

Dam Lucky

A 55 year old woman was walking near the Braeburn dam this past Monday, when she somehow took a fall to the bottom of the steep rock wall down near the powerful rapids. 

Many of you will know the slope we are talking about. 

We spent many a summer down there, fishing and doing teenage things. 

It's safe to say that we had many a close call while scaling that terrain. 

So when we heard of a woman falling down there, we were worried, but not really surprised. 

How the events transpired: 

A worker was taking a cruise by the river on the way to his next job. 

Translation: He was taking an unscheduled break. 

We aren't judging, as we may have done similar things in the past. 

He noticed a woman down near the water. 

He yelled down, asking if she was okay. 

She shook her head, so he sprang into action. 

He grabbed the first aid kit in his work vehicle, and flew down to attend to her until rescue crews could get there. 

The woman was in bad shape, with head injuries, bruises and likely a broken leg. 

The rescue crew got her out of there, and took her to a nearby hospital. 

We would like to give a shout out to the man who saw the woman. 

Well done, Mark Bellini. 

We'll for sure buy you a beer if we ever see you out.

Swings N' Stuff

One of our local elementary schools is on a mission. 

A mission of fun and entertainment. 

Greenwald Elementary is raising funds to install a new playground at the school. 

Actually, the PTA is doing this without the help of the district. 

Which is awesome. 

Kudos. 

They are doing fund-raisers, and collecting donations. 

One of the largest donations to date is five-large from the Eagles. 

Huge props to them. 

We've been big fans of theirs ever since we rocked the blue w/red & white trim uniforms back in our little league days. 

Not only are they trying to put in playground equipment, they want to make sure a protective surface is underneath them. 

Which we wish we would have had back in the day. 

Falling face-first from the monkey bars into cinders is a terrible way to finish recess. 

If you would like to donate, send a check to 

Greenwald Elementary School 

110 Elmtree Rd. New Kensington, Pa. 15068 

Then let us know about it so we can tell everyone how awesome you are. 

thenewkblog@gmail.com 

theNEWK HOME 

A Moment Of Silence

(1938-2012)

Godspeed, Mr. Hemsley.

Da Bears

Shoppers aren't the only ones trying to find a good deal at the Pittsburgh Mills Mall. 

It seems a few black bears also have their eye on some purchases.

Just the other day, a baby bear wondered into the Sears Grand store. 

After the initial shock of a bear in the store, workers corralled her between the main doors until the game commission could get there and tranquilize her. 

We've actually had that same thing happen to us at the Sears Grand store. 

They had a great sale on some Craftsman screwdrivers, but were sold out by the time we got there. 

We got a bit unruly, and the next thing we know, we got tranq'd in the neck. 

It was not our proudest moment. 

And we still don't own a decent set of drivers. 

Back to the story... 

Then, a night or so after Bear #1 got relocated, a much bigger bear was seen outside of the Olive Garden.

We hurried up and called our pops, as the old man loves the Olive Garden. 

He was safe and sound, thank goodness. 

If you are up at the mall, please be sure to keep an eye out. 

They will likely leave you alone if you see one, so don't panic. 

Be Careful In Oakmont

Not only do you risk incontinence due to the bumpiest road in 7 counties, there is a bigger reason to avoid the shady streets of Oakmont. 

And when we say shady, we aren't talking about the shadow cast by the majestic oaks that line the streets. 

So back to the danger. 

There are dangerous animals roaming the streets. 

No, not those little jackholes that you almost run over every 11 feet. 

We are talking bigger animals. 

Big and angry animals. 

Rabid animals. 

That's right, raccoons.

 Rabid raccoons. 

The kind mama used to chase off the porch with a broom. 

Yup. 

Hide yo kids, and hide yo wives. 

Rabid raccoons are currently roaming the streets of Oakmont Pa. 

Well, maybe they aren't. 

As they trapped and killed the one they found yesterday. 

But there could be more. 

Swift justice in the land of acorns.

Community Days Week (Wednesday)

Traffic Alert: 

When heading to Community this weekend, be prepared for a little 

extra NKCD anticipation. 

Not only is Tarentum Bridge hell on earth, there is a good bit of construction 

all the way from the Blind Pig (shout out), to past Memorial Park entrance. 

Normally, the city blocks off a lane or two for foot and shuttle bus traffic, but 

we aren't quite sure what their plan is this year for moving people in and out. 

We're sure it will all work out. 

It always does. 

And don't worry. 

There will be funnel cakes when you get there. 

The Single Lane

When your morning carpool conversation has questions like... 

"What are these flat-looking road cone things called?" 

And you get answers like... 

"I don't give a $h!t what they're called, why the eff are they all over the bridge?" 

You know that construction season is in full effect. 

And any of you that use the Tarentum Bridge as a path to get to your 

place of business, you already know what we're talking about. 

It seems some work is being done across the river. 

So they decided that instead of having everyone bottleneck on the 

Tarentum side, they would have morning traffic be gridlock well past 

the Taco Bell intersection. 

It's probably the best plan of attack. 

But it surely doesn't seem that way as we sip 

our morning java, while trying to remember if we put deodorant on 

before we left the house. 

 Just thinking about that jagoff that always flies up past all the non-A-Hole 

humans in line, and squeezes in, as if where he has to be is 50 times 

more important than where we have to be, well... 

It chaps our ass. 

Speaking of awesome sayings like "chaps my ass," we are reminded of 

our dad. 

And this weekend is Father's Day. 

Yippee! 

We have something to write about tomorrow! 

No Home For You

A few times this year, council has turned down offers to purchase 

run down homes in our area. 

They decided that tearing down the homes was the best decision for the 

city, and the neighbors on those streets.

We've told you about this before. 

Not that long ago actually. 

You may be asking yourself... 

"Hey handsome, is it difficult to maintain your street-cred, now that your 

local blog site has shot you on a starship to fame?"

Wait. 

That is what we were asking ourselves.

Everyday. 

You may be saying... 

"Why are they writing about the same basic story that you wrote about 

not that long ago?" 

Because, we see this as a huge step in the future of this city. 

We aren't just jumping at any chance to get a few bucks for a property 

that is beyond repair. 

We are NOT a sleazy used-car lot type of town. 

People in charge are doing what is right for the city. 

And we appreciate that. 

We'll remember, come election time. 

Will you? 

Keepin An Eye Out

New Ken and Arnold have teamed up on all kinds of stuff 

over the many years they've shared together. 

And the new crime watch group may be one of the best 

partnerships yet. 

See, each city has its own crime block watches. 

But this group plans on linking them all together, to form a better 

network of crime-stoppers. 

Crime-Stoppers may not be the best name for them. 

Which is likely why they didn't choose that one. 

That was all us. 

Anyways, the group plans on sharing information, which in turn should 

make a huge difference. 

Each block group will select a leader, and the leaders will meet a few times a year. 

They will also turn in anonymous tips to the police. 

So think twice before doing any shady stuff in our fair towns. 

Because we have eyes everywhere. 

 

Hail To The Chief

Thomas Klawinski was recently named the new police chief 

in New Kensington. 

He is a 20 year vet of our force, with 10 years as a detective. 

He replaces Ronald Zellers, who died not long ago of natural causes. 

We would personally like to wish him luck. 

And make sure he knows we are at his disposal. 

Anything you need, Chief. 

Just give us a shout. 

-

Have a great weekend, everyone. 

We surely will. 

It's A Liger

"It's pretty much my favorite animal."

Now, we've been hearing rumors for years that a mountain lion has 

been roaming the woods of the Alle-Kiski Valley. 

We put as much stock in that rumor, as we did about the Green Man 

that haunts Coxcomb Hill at midnight on rainy nights. 

But there seems to be a little more validity to this claim, as local 

residents are actually getting the large pussy in their rifle scopes. 

A local man even got off a shot, but missed. 

He said the cat was around 70 or so pounds. 

The local game commission doesn't agree though. 

The think people are seeing a bobcat, as there are many living in this area. 

Mountain lions weigh in at about 140 lbs, while bobcats come in around 40. 

And being as how men generally error on the high-side of their guesses about size 

of things (not us - hubba hubba), we are figuring it was a bobcat that was seen. 

And we hope that's the case. 

We don't have the stamina or speed to get away from a 7-foot long lion. 

Hell, we don't have the stamina and speed for a proper whoopie session. 

But we do our best, and that's what counts. 

Right, ladies? 

Meh, who cares what you floozies think anyways.