Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Swings N' Stuff

One of our local elementary schools is on a mission. 

A mission of fun and entertainment. 

Greenwald Elementary is raising funds to install a new playground at the school. 

Actually, the PTA is doing this without the help of the district. 

Which is awesome. 


They are doing fund-raisers, and collecting donations. 

One of the largest donations to date is five-large from the Eagles. 

Huge props to them. 

We've been big fans of theirs ever since we rocked the blue w/red & white trim uniforms back in our little league days. 

Not only are they trying to put in playground equipment, they want to make sure a protective surface is underneath them. 

Which we wish we would have had back in the day. 

Falling face-first from the monkey bars into cinders is a terrible way to finish recess. 

If you would like to donate, send a check to 
Greenwald Elementary School 
110 Elmtree Rd. New Kensington, Pa. 15068 

Then let us know about it so we can tell everyone how awesome you are. 

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Random Picture Monday (07-30-12)

GPS respect.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Traffic Jags

We have been growing increasingly annoyed as of late with people and their driving. 

Our annoyance usually peaks during this time of year. 

Extreme temperatures and road construction are a powerful mix. 

Crossing the Tarentum bridge is terrible. 

But we all know that already. 

We are currently annoyed by the construction at the Stevenson Blvd and Seventh Street intersection. 

It is probably the second busiest intersection in the Newk. 

And the road cones only make it worse. 

And when people drive like jagoffs, our heads about explode. 

Have you noticed that when you are coming towards Valley High, from Eat N' Park, people try to jump a few cars ahead just after the light to the merge point? 

Even though there are huge orange signs leading up to it, letting everyone know that it will soon be single lane. 

And we know these people aren't coming through here for the first time ever, so don't give blame it on the fact that they might be ignorant out-of-towners. 

Here is what we are talking about... 

We were third in line in the lane which  people will be merging into while the light was red. 

You'll have to trust us, but there were at least 10-13 cars lined up behind us.

 As the light turns green, some jag flies up the left lane and squeezes in front of us honest folk in the proper lane, nearly causing an accident.

This happens every time we go through here. 

Ugh, bring on the winter. 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Moment Of Silence


Godspeed, Mr. Hemsley.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Da Bears

Shoppers aren't the only ones trying to find a good deal at the Pittsburgh Mills Mall. 

It seems a few black bears also have their eye on some purchases.

Just the other day, a baby bear wondered into the Sears Grand store. 

After the initial shock of a bear in the store, workers corralled her between the main doors until the game commission could get there and tranquilize her. 

We've actually had that same thing happen to us at the Sears Grand store. 

They had a great sale on some Craftsman screwdrivers, but were sold out by the time we got there. 

We got a bit unruly, and the next thing we know, we got tranq'd in the neck. 

It was not our proudest moment. 

And we still don't own a decent set of drivers. 

Back to the story... 

Then, a night or so after Bear #1 got relocated, a much bigger bear was seen outside of the Olive Garden.

We hurried up and called our pops, as the old man loves the Olive Garden. 

He was safe and sound, thank goodness. 

If you are up at the mall, please be sure to keep an eye out. 

They will likely leave you alone if you see one, so don't panic. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Random Picture Monday (07-23-12)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Eat, Shop, Eat

Shopping and eating are two of our absolute favorite hobbies. 

And when we get lots of stuff (food and goods), for not a lot of cash, we go from 6 to Midnight. 

So you know that our shorts are getting a little bit tighter, as one of the biggest weekends in the Newk is nearly upon us. 

Yep, it's Mount Vernon yardsale weekend! 

And you know when the MVYs come around, so does the all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast at the EKCC (right across from Martin Elementary). 

You can be sure, that we will load up on stacks of fluffy cakes, and link after link of juicy sausages before we make our way to wheel and deal on "The Hill." 

It doesn't even matter if we find any good deals up there, because we can always count on some top-notch vittles as we browse. 

We just aren't sure if we will get a dog from Frank's Franks first, or an original Char-Dog. 

But you know damn well we'll have at least one of each. 

As will many other shoppers. 

See, these two Newk weenie legends have been serving up casing-filled delights for many years now. 

And from what we understand, Frank's Franks may have been the first. 

Fact is, whoever came first is of no concern to us. 

What is a concern to us is the fact that they are both open for business this Saturday afternoon. 

Because once those EKCC pancakes start to wear off, we plan on having loads of wieners in our mouths. 


Maybe we should rethink that last sentence? 

Meh, we're comfortable with ourselves. 

Oh yeah, be sure to tell em "theNewk sent ya." 


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Be Careful In Oakmont

Not only do you risk incontinence due to the bumpiest road in 7 counties, there is a bigger reason to avoid the shady streets of Oakmont. 

And when we say shady, we aren't talking about the shadow cast by the majestic oaks that line the streets. 

So back to the danger. 

There are dangerous animals roaming the streets. 

No, not those little jackholes that you almost run over every 11 feet. 

We are talking bigger animals. 

Big and angry animals. 

Rabid animals. 

That's right, raccoons.

 Rabid raccoons. 

The kind mama used to chase off the porch with a broom. 


Hide yo kids, and hide yo wives. 

Rabid raccoons are currently roaming the streets of Oakmont Pa. 

Well, maybe they aren't. 

As they trapped and killed the one they found yesterday. 

But there could be more. 

Swift justice in the land of acorns.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Butter On Our Poptarts

You know how we do. 

We almost always post super important local information/news around here. 

But every now and again, certain subjects trump all things Newk. 

Today we talk about a trend that is quite popular around theNewk offices as of late. 

It is the act of buttering your toasted Poptart. 

You are likely saying to yourself... 

"Wait, what?!?"

Or the other popular response... 

"There isn't enough fat in there for you already?" 

Or maybe you are thinking what the older people usually say to us... 

"That is disgusting.  Go jump of a cliff, fat-body." 

But we think you shouldn't knock it until you try it. 

And we aren't telling you to smother it with mounds of butter. 

But you should put just enough to lightly coat the entire top surface of the Poptart. 

Especially the outside edges.

We prefer the frosted-top delights, although the plain top ones seem to be more butter friendly in the seedy world of  the underground snack modification crowd.

By no means are we trying to make you believe that this is a viable option for a healthy way to start your day. 

Fact is, it's likely one of the worst suggestions (health wise) that we have ever spoken of. 

We just want to open your eyes to something you may enjoy. 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Random Picture Monday (07-16-12)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday The...

Today is Friday the Thirteenth.

Be careful out there. 

Have a great weekend. 

That is all. 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

What's Going On?

Each time we cruise down Stevenson Blvd, the construction area usually just seems like a minor hassle that must dealt with to get to our final destination. 

But the last few times, we've noticed them removing part of the hillside by the football field. 

And now we would like to know what they are doing. 

Here is a picture we were able to snap as we passed recently... 

Obviously it's a big job. 

Big enough to require their own porta-john. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

New Feature

We are taking a moment to fill you in on our plan for a new feature here at the site. 

We will be doing local artist spotlights every so often. 

We will have some examples of people's art. 

As well as awesome interviews. 

If you know anyone worthy of being featured, please email us @ thenewkblog@gmail.com

They can be... 


Just don't tell us about bloggers. 

Those people are a waste of space. 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Well That Was Fast

Not long ago, we told you about the idea of combining police departments 
from New Ken, Arnold, Lower Burrell and Upper Burrell. 

Read it HERE

From what we understood, the mayor of LB wasn't in a big hurry to get together and 
discuss this topic. 

In fact, he seemed to blow it off. 

But now, he is in a big rush to get together with Mayor Guzzo to talk about 
a decision that he and city council made about one of our streets. 

A street that connects to Lower Burrell, which many residents use as a 
shortcut around Leechburg Rd. in their city. 

We are talking about Virginia Drive (off of Craigdell). 

Seems people are in such a big hurry to get out of New Ken, that they are speeding 
along this road, which has many children living upon it. 

It's very dangerous. 

So council decided to put up a barrier where the street changes cities. 

But they seemed to forget the most important part of any decision
 that New Kensington makes... 

They forgot to consult with Lower Burrell officials first. 

 "How dare they?!?" 

Can you detect our sarcasm yet? 

 Now Mayor Don from LBC wants a sit-down with us. 

He obviously has a laundry list of complaints stemming from their city council meeting,
where residents voiced their displeasure on the subject.

We hope things get worked out. 

As we're sure they will. 

We have full trust in Mayor Guzzo. 

Maybe Burrell residents will promise not to speed through our streets anymore? 

Maybe we here at theNewk will stand patrol, wearing Hi-Vis t-shirts, and those 
cool orange lightsaber things they use on runways? 

Maybe we build a wall like Germany? 

Check back here for the conclusion of this intriguing story. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Random Picture Monday (07-09-12)

Adopt your next family pet.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Clean Up Your Act

If you are out and about on Saturday, and you realize your car could use some freshening up, you should support the Valley Viking JROTC. 

They will be washing cara at the Advanced Auto (down by Eat n Park) from 10-3. 

Support those, that will support you one day. 

Other than that... 

Stay chill, and have a fun weekend.  

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Funkis Amoungis

Alright people, you know the drill. 

Yesterday was a holiday, and that means what? 

We're hungover. 

Other than that. 

It means garbage pickup will be delayed a day this week. 

So please refrain from placing your bag full of half eaten hotdogs, and mayo based macaroni salad to the curb just yet. 

We can all do without smelling that ripeness as it sits there in 90+ degree weather. 

Hope you had a great holiday! 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Independence Day 2012

Wait a second. 

We don't post random pictures around here on holidays. 

(Even if Jeff Goldblum kicks alien ass in them.) 

We post the king of American holidays. 

Lee Greenwood, Baby!


And did you know that Lee will be at Wheeling Island 
this Saturday at 9pm? 

Who's in? 

Happy Fourth of July! 

Go get drunk and blow stuff up. 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

You Feel That?

Yeah, we feel it. 

It's hot. 

Like really hot. 

Not that kinda hot. 

This kinda hot... 

We can seriously feel the temperature rising. 

Days in the nineties, with crazy amount of humidity. 

We have literally spent the last 3 weeks feeling all kinds of gummy. 

And our grass! 

Don't get us started on our grass. 

Our grass reminds us of the Children of the Corn.

If it wasn't for air conditioning and cold beer, we would be a mess.

So stay cool, and keep it real. 

You know we will too. 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Random Picture Monday (07-02-12)

28 Newk view.