Friday, May 29, 2009

We're Thrilled It's The Weekend.

Groomsmen take it to another level.

2:08 - They do the Re-Run hop.

Have a pimp ass weekend.
We'll see you soon.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I Can't Rap.

Julia should be from the NEWK.

No doubt.

Here she is kicking some Kanye.

0:19 - pfffffftttt

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ladies and Germs

Continuing video week...

We Present To You, Louie100.

0:52 - Dolla Bills, y'all.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Put A Ring On It

So, as we told you yesterday during Random Picture Monday,
we are on a little vacation.

So we decided to bring you some of the webs best videos.

Here is Miranda performing Single Ladies.

1:51 - Eyebrow Olympics

Monday, May 25, 2009

Random Picture Monday (05-25-09)

Zebra Style.

Just so you know:

We here at are taking a little vacation this week.
But don't let that stop you from checking back daily, as we're sure you always do.

We will be posting some of the web's best videos.
And you should watch them, because we have tremendous taste.



Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day!

Thanks to everyone that has served for our great country.

We here at appreciate everything you have done.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Shake Your Prom Prom.

In honor of Valley's prom tonight, we decided to dedicate this
entry to gaudy dresses and cummerbunds.

We remember prom night as being semi exciting, as thoughts of pinning
a corsage to our date's chest was almost too much to handle.

(Oops, tweak...booyah!)

It was also pretty sweet getting to drive your parents friend's nice
car around for the night.

Well, the rest of the night was kind of a blur.

I remember eating something, not winning prom king,
and getting our picture taken under some decorated lattice.

Good times.

If any of you reading this are attending a prom this season,
please be careful, and have a good time.

You probably won't have another night like this until you get married.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Fireworks No More.

For the past bunch of years, the great city of New Kensington
has provided it's loyal citizens with a fireworks show in celebration
of the 4th of July.

It generally took place the weekend before the 4th, as they would never want
to jeopardize their relationship with the city of Springdale, and it's yearly
fireworks extravaganza, by doing the show on the same night.
(What if we all got banned from eating Glen's?)

God forbid we steal some of their Zambelli inspired thunder.
(Are there a bunch of people that get burned every year in Dynamo country, or is that our imagination?)


So anyways, we just found out that there will be no fireworks at all in the NEWK this year.

Other than the sparklers you are legally allowed to buy at Giant Eagle.


I mean, it was never the greatest of shows, but it's the thought that counts.

In place of fireworks, there will be a bunch of people that just walked in from Philly.

You read that right.

Yeah, there is a PA Hero Walk ending at Valley's football stadium on the 4th.

Don't get us wrong, it's for an amazing cause.

The walk will raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project, a national initiative assisting soldiers injured in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But think about it...

If you just walked 342 miles, wouldn't you like to see some Independence Spirit?

Hell, what's another 3 mile walk to Springdale gonna hurt?


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Son of a...

Just another crappy Wednesday in theNEWK.


It started out so nicely too.

Sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the
Raspberry Tootsie Pops were flowing like Maddog 20/20.

Sounds perfect, right?

It was, until we looked at the wrapper in hopes of finding the
kid dressed as an Indian, shooting a star with his bow and arrow.

Wait...what's that? I would recognize those cartoon moccasins anywhere!
It's the kid! I'm getting a free Tootsie Pop! Woohoo!

I then realized that the top of his fake Indian headdress was missing...

"Son of a..."

So there you have it. Our Wednesday has officially been ruined.

Go suck on a fart.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

NEWK The Vote!

Now listen up.

We were born and bred in local tavern parking lots.

And what is the first rule of bar etiquette?

- Don't trust your judgment of the opposite sex, when you are more than
7 beers deep.

Always a rule you want to abide by, for sure.

So, what's the second rule?

- Don't talk about religion or politics.

(This rule could really be number one, and probably would be,
if it weren't for that one night at the SportsPage that we'd rather not discuss.)

What are we getting at?
Well, it's local election day. Booyah.

"No, seriously, the list of bar rules...what are you getting at?"

We just wanted you to know...

We aren't here, standing up on a virtual soapbox, telling you who to vote for.
We just want you to do the right thing and vote.

Get up offa that thing...and vote till you feel better.

Seriously, you aren't being very American just sitting there staring
at your web browser.
(Unless of course, you are in line to vote while checking out theNEWK
on your blackberry or iphone, if that's the case...well done you.)

All I know is, I've lived around these parts my entire life.
And there aren't many people I've met, that I would trust to make a proper
decision for me.

So we're voting.

Do you trust us?

"Hit me two times!"

Monday, May 18, 2009

Bear Mountain?

Center Avenue in the Mount Vernon section of theNEWK is
generally rather quiet.

Other than some local traffic and a few playful children.

Well, today there was a little bit more action than the residents are used to.

Was it a parade?


Was it a street concert benefiting cystic fibrosis?
Unfortunately, no.

Was it a 150 lb black bear in a tree?


Yes, yes it was a 150 lb black bear in a tree.
On Center Avenue in Mount Vernon.

So, they ended up shooting the bear in a tree with a tranquilizer.
The bear fell about 20 feet.

They examined it and made sure everything was okay with the bear.

The police then took a group photo for nostalgia's sake.
"Say honey."

(photo belongs to VND)

After that, the bear was packed up and taken to gamelands
in Cambria County, and set free.

This finally proves that you can take the black bear out of theNEWK.

Let's hope for Cambria County residents, that you can take theNEWK
out of the black bear.


Random Picture Monday (05-18-09)

(clicky on the picture to biggie size it)


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Just Chillin'

It was a cool and breezy Sunday in theNEWK.

The sun was shining, but our nip-nips were still rather stiff.


Random Picture Monday is coming soon.
Be sure to comment.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Hey! Do This!

Tomorrow (Saturday May 16th) at 12 noon, there is a mini-golf
tournament being held at Glen's Custard in Springdale.

It benefits the upcoming Autism walk.
A cause that's very close to our hearts.

It only costs $6 a person, and hey, that price includes a hotdog.
Can't beat that.

So ask yourself. Other than playing a little mini-golf, helping support
a wonderful cause, getting a hotdog, and being able to enjoy the cool/smooth
tastes that Glen's has to offer, is there anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon?

We'll answer for you...

If you are unable to make it to this event, but still would like to donate,
please email us at and we'll hook you up with the
proper information.

Oh yeah, it looks like the flavor of the day is Cinnamon.



Thursday, May 14, 2009

Party In the Burg

As if you needed another reason to visit the downtown section of Leechburg,
they've gone and planned a rockin' good time.

Seriously folks.

This coming Saturday at the Leechburg VFW on Market St., there will
be 8 different bands playing throughout the day in the banquet hall.

All for free.

Some of those bands are:
The Dallas Marks Band
(local songstress) Erin Burkett
Larry & Nicole Belli and the Merks
Fat Chance looks to be closing down the show.

Now, we don't know much about most of those bands, but we've heard
Erin sing, and we always suggest checking her out.
Larry Belli has been a local entertainer for years as well, worth hearing for sure.

And if that wasn't enough, there will be giraffe rides!

Not really.

But there will be a stilt walker and a juggler to amaze and entertain.

All this is being brought to you by Patty Ameno in honor
of Armed Forces Day.

Thanks Patty.

For more information on this event, google it...we're tired.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Game 7

Maybe you like hockey, and maybe you don't.
But the game taking place tonight is a big one.

A big one.

The Pittsburgh Penguins play the Washington Capitals at the Verizon
Center in our nations capital at 7pm.

It is game seven of the best of 7 series, and it features some of hockey's best players.

I won't bore you with their names, because if you actually care,
you probably already know who they are.

So tonight, bars around the NewK area might be filled with locals sporting
clothes of the Black and Vegas Gold nature.

Have fun. Be safe. Go Pens.

There is really nothing else of note happening around here, other than
the drug sweep that took place this morning in Harrison.

They had 14 warrants, and made 6 arrests.

Mostly in the Natrona section of town.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Damn This Traffic Jam

Say goodbye to some traffic signals in downtown NewK.

City council decided to get rid of some lights, as downtown was looking
too much like an ecstasy ridden rave party.

So which lights are getting covered up?

Fourth and 11th
Fourth and 10th
Fifth and 10th
Fifth and 8th

They will be replaced with stop signs.

They are going to do this for a 90 day trial period.

If there are no more than 2 accidents per month at any intersection,
the change will be permanent.

I can't think of a witty way to end this post, so whatever.
Make sure to stop.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Random Picture Monday (05-11-09)

(click picture to make it bigger)

[*Happy birthday, Mom.]


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day


Dear Mom,

Thanks for giving birth to me.


What's for dinner?

Friday, May 8, 2009

What To Get Moms?

Every year I have the same question...
What should I get my mother for mother's day?

That could be one of the toughest questions ever asked.

Right up there with:
Does swaying your arms back and forth actually change the direction of a bowling ball?
Do missing transvestites get their picture on a carton of half and half?
Is there a difference between "partly cloudy" and "partly sunny?"
Why doesn't grape soda smell or taste like actual grapes?
Does the word "partly" sound weird to you?

Let's get back on point here, shall we?

Buying mom the right gift is a bigger deal than most people think.

Does your mom really want flowers from the guy in the Arby's parking lot?
(You are pretty much telling your mom that she is an afterthought of a Beef n' Cheddar.)

You also don't want to get her something she can clean with,
lose weight with, or even cook with.

That's just bad form.

And if you must get her a gift certificate, get her something that
pampers her a little.

Her favorite salon to get her hair/nails did.
A spa/massage treatment.
Maybe even some concert/event tickets.

(note: This is where I would place an advertisement for your business, if you weren't so cheap.)

Look, there are many ways to show your mom how much you love her.
And getting her a good gift is a nice start.

Truth is, your mom probably just wants to see you more than once every
other week or so. And that is what will make her happy.

So spend some time with your mom, hell, take her out to dinner.

She deserves it.

And for all you guys out there:
If your children are too young to buy your wife/baby mama something
for mother's day, make sure you get her something.

Just because she isn't your mother, doesn't make it right.

(Don't act like it didn't cross you mind, you selfish bastard.)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Good Times On the Horizon

Unfortunately, not those Good Times.

We are talking about the festivals, carnival, fireworks, bike race
and a memorial walk being planned for the celebration of L.B.C.'s
(Lower Burrell City) 5oth anniversary.
"A lot of nice things are coming down the pike."
said Mayor Don Kinosz

We have no idea what pike he is talking about, so whatever.

They were talking about holding some of the events at Wolf Pack Park,
but they are worried about mud and ruining the grass.

C'mon now. Lay down some hay, ala the Arnold Pig Roast, Hyde Park
Days, or the Springdale Carnival.

Has the LBC always been this soft?

They are also talking about holding events in the Hillcrest parking lot,
or the lot where JC Penny and Monkey Wards used to rule the local
capitalist region.

There will also be a parade on Leechburg rd. sometime in September.


Color us baby blue and white.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Where Is Errybody?

Recently, the Associated Press decided to look at over 3,000
neighborhoods statewide.

Were they trying to confirm that theNewK was the baddest of them all?

In short, no.

They were checking out which hoods had the most vacant houses in them.
Sounds like busy work to us. But hey, whatever.

And now for the results:

With a 20.8% vacancy rate, New Kensington Hill came in 8th place in the state!

Too bad they weren't counting tennis shoes hanging on wires.

Because we would have taken home the gold, sucka!

Other notable local neighborhoods...

L.A. (Lower Arnold) repped a strong 20.6%
Not bad.

• Arnold Hill, 20.2%

• Downtown New Kensington and Parnassus, 18.9%

• Vandergrift (eastern portion), 16.2%

• Harrison, from the Allegheny River to Freeport Road, 13.1%

• Tarentum, 12%

• Vandergrift (central portion), 11.3%

• Brackenridge, 10.6%

• Leechburg, 9.5%

Monessen took state with 26%.

Go Greyhounds!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dusty Bottoms

Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day, as many people think.

Now you know, or maybe you already knew.

Either way, put on an over-sized sombrero and drink some beer.


Now, we aren't as popular as we feel we should be, so no local
bars/taverns supplied us with Cinco de Mayo celebration info.

But here is a list of joints to possibly have a good time at:

Power Play
Blind Pig
Burrell Inn


We plan on having a late night viewing of The Three Amigos.

"Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"

And an El Guapo to you all.

Monday, May 4, 2009


There is really not much going on around the NewK today.
Other than a whole lotta rain.

We were going to compile a list of local Pittsburgh Marathon finishers,
but that looks to be a bigger undertaking than we are prepared for.

We were going to chat about the air testing needed at Highlands High
School, but realized the issue must not be that important, as they
hosted some of the biggest entertainers in the world this past Saturday.

We considered writing about the sewer lines in Leechburg that are being
replaced. They've only been there since the Great Depression.

So there you go.

It's raining. Wear a slicker.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

And They're Off.

Saturdays are sometimes the busiest day of the week.

Sometimes on a nice Saturday, you are required to attend different
events, such as...

Work Picnics
Bar Mitzvahs
Oldies Concerts
A Child's Birthday Party

Now don't get me wrong, some of the most kick ass parties I've
ever been to have been Bar Mitzvahs. I'm just trying to make a point.

But this Saturday, everything in the world felt right.

The Penguins started the second round of the playoffs.
The 135th running of the Kentucky Derby was happening.
And we had plenty of beer to drink.

So it will come as no shock to any of you, that I awoke this fine Saturday
with a smile on my face, and a twinkle in my eye.

That usually only happens on my birthday and my anniversary.
Hubba hubba.

So the time came for the Pens game. We had a few cold ones, and washed
them down with a scrumptious pie from Rosa's.

Crosby scored the first goal and the day was looking even brighter.

Now, I won't bore/annoy you with anymore details of the hockey game.
We lost. Meh.

We got over it quicker than normal, as there were piles of money
in Harmar, just waiting for us to come and pick them up.

We are talking about the most exciting 2 minutes in all of sports.
The Sport of Kings.
The Kentucky Derby!

So we did a little bit of research, and made our way towards
"Pittsburgh's Biggest Outdoor Party."

We were so focused, that we didn't even stop at Glen's Custard
to get a chocolate cone with jimmies on it.

So you know we were all business.

We finally found a primo parking spot in the Bladerunners lot, and
noticed a newer trend at the Harmar Meadows derby party...

(Tailgating in the parking lot, of a party, held in the parking lot.)

This town will tailgate any event. And we dig that.

Now, it was about an hour and a half until the big race was going off, so
we figured we had plenty of time to place our winning wagers.


This place was crazier than normal. Bodies pressed up against
bodies in a sweaty/greedy/wallet clutching mass of confusion, highlighted with
overly skinny swarms of Miller Lite Girls.

Just how we like it.
(Security cameras make us nervous, luckily...dreads make us relax.)

Here is a shot of the other people waiting to bet behind us.
Notice all the smiling faces?
(Grey sweater guy was showing us his lucky mole.)

We headed outside for a bit of fresh air, and a drink.
We didn't get either.

(I got lucky and only caught people's heads in this photo, as many of them chose
today to wear shorts for the first time this year, and the bright whites of their
legs may have had damaging effects on my camera lens.)

Random photo of people staring at us.
(I later realized my fly was down and my business was all in the streets.)

So be it.

Well anyways, we didn't win a damn thing. But we learned a valuable life lesson.

People can't keep their eyes off another man's junk, while attending Pittsburgh's
Biggest Outdoor Party, after watching the Pens lose game one in a best
of seven series against the Washington Capitols, instead of going to a child's
birthday or a nice Bar Mitzvah on a Saturday that had so much potential.

Side note:
A 50-1 horse won the Derby, and we forgot to bet it.

I hope grey sweater guy's mole told him to bet the 8 horse.

Lookout Preakness... is coming for you.

Friday, May 1, 2009

The Show Must Go On.

Just in case you won't be attending the cd realease party we
mentioned the other day, there is another music showcase that you
might be wanting to check out.

When: This Saturday at 8pm
Where: Highlands Senior High School auditorium, Natrona Heights
Who: Johnny Tillotson, Dick and Dee Dee, The Pixies Three
How Much: $35

How Much?
Wha Wha What?

Johnny Tillotson.Kinda reminds us of a mix of Barry Manilow and Vince van Patten
"Our name, is synonymous...with integrity."

Dick and Dee Dee
His hair scares us. Her scarab beetle ring is dope.

The Pixies Three
AKA: Cougars R' Us
Don't they all look like they host a cooking show?

If you actually go to this event, please email us some details. We won't be
able to attend this musical orgy, and we are very depressed about it.

Scarab rings and cougars are two of our favorites.

Going Global?

You might be wondering to yourself what in the world Kim Kardashian
has to do with the area of the U.S. known as theNewK.

Was she born around these parts?
Does she have family here?
Did she go to college somewhere nearby?

The answer to these questions is:

We don't know.
(and we aren't going to bother looking it up)

The actual reason that we posted this picture, is because her ass
is as big as Kinloch.

Carry on.