Friday, May 8, 2009

What To Get Moms?

Every year I have the same question...
What should I get my mother for mother's day?

That could be one of the toughest questions ever asked.

Right up there with:
Does swaying your arms back and forth actually change the direction of a bowling ball?
Do missing transvestites get their picture on a carton of half and half?
Is there a difference between "partly cloudy" and "partly sunny?"
Why doesn't grape soda smell or taste like actual grapes?
Does the word "partly" sound weird to you?

Let's get back on point here, shall we?

Buying mom the right gift is a bigger deal than most people think.

Does your mom really want flowers from the guy in the Arby's parking lot?
(You are pretty much telling your mom that she is an afterthought of a Beef n' Cheddar.)

You also don't want to get her something she can clean with,
lose weight with, or even cook with.

That's just bad form.

And if you must get her a gift certificate, get her something that
pampers her a little.

Her favorite salon to get her hair/nails did.
A spa/massage treatment.
Maybe even some concert/event tickets.

(note: This is where I would place an advertisement for your business, if you weren't so cheap.)

Look, there are many ways to show your mom how much you love her.
And getting her a good gift is a nice start.

Truth is, your mom probably just wants to see you more than once every
other week or so. And that is what will make her happy.

So spend some time with your mom, hell, take her out to dinner.

She deserves it.

And for all you guys out there:
If your children are too young to buy your wife/baby mama something
for mother's day, make sure you get her something.

Just because she isn't your mother, doesn't make it right.

(Don't act like it didn't cross you mind, you selfish bastard.)


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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.