They Be Foamin

Sure, yesterday's post was very similar to a recent post by us. 

We may have even fooled some people by posting the same pictures and subject matter. 

Well, maybe didn't fool some people. 

Just one. 

Frank the Stank 

Here is what he had to say... 

Yo. i think you made a misteak yesterday and posted the same thing from the other day. well. its a little different because you was talkin about a roof n stuff. i know yall put that picture of forest gump up there. but you was syaing that the racoons had rabies. and they be foamin from they mouths. are these the ones around here. maybe im confused. i aint been sleeping real good these last few days. i think my bed is jacked up cause my back be hurtin. all i know is if i see one of em. i am jumping on my bike and gettin outta there. 

Frank the stank

We hope that your sleep issues get solved very soon, Frank. 

A lack of sleep is a terrible thing. 

So are rabid raccoons. 

Be careful out there, pal. 

Bear Witness To This Email

We got an email the other day. 

We love emails. 

But we love emails with pictures in them even more. 

Now, we've gotten many different kinds of pictures sent to our email account. 

Many. Different. Kinds. 

If you know what we're saying. 

But this one was particularly interesting. 

It was taken in the Rossmont section of town... 

Yep, that's a big ass bear. 

Chillin' in Rossmont. 

Just snacking on some birdseed. 

Doing what Newk bears do. 

Thanks so much for sending in this picture! 

Keep em coming. 

All of em. 

;)

Storms Wuz Crazy

It's been so long since our last email from Frank the Stank, that 

we actually started to worry if he were alive or not. 

He usually contacts us pretty regularly. 

We don't post every email. 

Although some of you wish we did. 

He seems to have quite the fan base. 

Anyways, here is what Frank had to say... 

What up newk dudes. i aint had the internets in a while cuz my moms lost her part time gig at the gas station. i cant even remimber what alls i had to talk about since the last time. but how about the rain today. them storms wuz crazy. the window in our appartment was ratteling like a sumbeetch. i thought our pink flamingo out front was gunna go flyin down the street. then i remimbered those kinda birds cant fly so i stopped sweating it. moms was  out on the porch tryin to light her misty light 100 and was gettin heated cuz the flame kept going out. haha. i was cracking up watching her. oh yeah. have yall seem game o thrones on the hbo. my nieghbour be letting me watch wit him if i bring a twelver of keystone ice. its mad werth it cause they be showing crazy amounts of nipple on that show. 

keepin it real

frank the stank

 We agree with Frank on a few points in his email. 

1. The weather was mad crazy. 

2. Not being able to properly ignite your Misty Light 100 is flat out hilarious. 

3. Boobs are well worth a few cans of cheap brew. 

For those of you out there that aren't fans of Frank. 

And you know who you are. 

Please consider the wisdom and insight within his emails. 

You never know where you may learn your next lesson in life. 

We Smiled

Oh emails...

How you warm our hearts and make us all tingly in just
the right places.


There is something so pure and beautiful about a well written email.

It also doesn't hurt when it is full of compliments...

Love The Blog!

I just wanted to drop you a quick line to thank you for taking the time to write it. I sadly do not get to visit everyday, but when I do you never fail to put a smile on my face. As new-ish residents to the area, when we first moved here we heard all sorts of bad things about the place, but simply couldn't figure out why. I mean the place has charm & personality and I have not met a single boring person here. My guy and I came here first from about 3 hours south to see the building for sale on *** & ***. It was not what we were looking for (have you seen the basement in that place?! Scary...but kinda cool.) Basement aside, we fell in love with the place and knew this is where we had to be. We drove up and down the streets in old downtown New Ken and wrote down addresses of places that looked empty and tried to find the owners to see if they wanted to sell. We got lucky back in June or July, I forget which, and became the happy owners of a little bit of this awesome city. I see now that this "quick line" has snowballed into me being chatty, I blame the coffee, but I will stop now after just one more. Thank you!

- Happy NewKer =)

Sincere thanks for taking the time from your day to drop us
a line.


Welcome to the NewK!


And thank you for loving our community.

The NewK Is Bigger In Texas

We always knew we were nationally known.

Because we have family in Detroit.


Lolz.

But seriously.


People all over this little earth appreciate what we do.


Obviously, you agree with them, or you'd currently be watching lady-boy
porn, rather than reading this.

And how could we blame you?

LBP is all the internet rage.



Oh yeah, we got an awesome email...

Hello NewK people!

I just stumbled across your blog tonight and wanted to say hey! Your blog is funny as well as informative. I spent my whole life right across the river, (in Creighton) but currently live in Dallas, TX. New Ken and our surrounding communities can get such a bad reputation, and it's so nice to know there are good and intelligent people out there spreading good vibes.

You've got a new reader. Just wanted you to know :)
Sarah S.

Thanks, Sarah.

You rock.

If you ship us a real deal cowboy hat, you will be vaulted into our
top-10 reader category.

What The Dilly?

Very few people can sum up the questions that a collective group
of people may have about a subject.

There are many questions unanswered about what happened
to the man that disappeared last week and turned up at a
Pittsburgh hospital.

No doubt, it's a sensitive subject.

But many of us took worrying about Chad very seriously.

And in some strange way, we feel as though we "deserve" the full story.

Obviously, it's none of our damn business.

But it's hard to just stop caring about something/someone that
you put forth an effort to worry about.

Most people don't say anything.

But there are a few folks out there with the uncanny ability to express
in writing the thoughts and concerns of their fellow man.

Frank the Stank, is one of those people.


Here is his latest treasure sent to our gmail account...

What up newk dudes. this is frank the stank and i wanted to kno if there was more to da story about that kid gone missin. i was lookin all over constiution for that dude since yall said sumpthin. i was lookin for the black whip you said he was drivin. i didnt see nuthin with him in it. and i was worried yo. i told my boys to keep a look out. then you say he shows up at a hospitol yesterday. i also heard he gave a wrong name and the cops cant be tellin his story cause he 19 and theres a law about that. what the dilly. i wanna know what happened to this guy. why he just roll like that. just took some money and his laptops and left for a week. im glad they found him but i need to know what up. if yall here sumpthin you best email or text me. heres my digits to my cricket celly 724-881-****. hit me up.

peace- Frank the stank

We're sure that many of you have the same (okay... similar) questions as
FTS.

We also are quite curious as to what happened.

But by no means, are we more interested in the story, as we are
in the safety of this young man.


Welcome home, Chad.

We are pulling for everything to work out in your world.

Whatever that may be.

My Flippy Floppies On

It's been awhile since we've heard from our good friend Frank.

To be honest, if 3 days goes by without an email, we start
to worry and miss him.

But it seems warm weather brings out more than just a few pairs
of spandex shorts.

(Yeah, we saw a woman wearing some yesterday at Walmart in the Mills.)


Okay, okay.

Enough of our drivel.

Here's.... Frank!

yo yo yo what up newks. i was readin your website today while sittin next to my lil cuosins baby pool cuz it was hot out there. hell yeah i was drinking a cold forty of bud and had my flippy floppies on. i am lovin this weather. mostly cuz i hate havin to wake up all early at 10 and clean snow off my moms car. even the hot lady that lives next to us had a tanktop on and was out in her yard lookin all good. booyah. aight then ill check yall later.
frank the stank

Always great hearing from you Frank.

You be careful slugging beer and ogling the neighborhood milfs.

New Year, Old Issue

As some of you may remember, we have a huge issue with the
traffic light at the corner of Fifth Ave/9th St.

It is insane that there isn't a stop sign there instead.

But that is not what this post is about.

This is about another intersection in the Newk.

Editor's Note:
We misspelled intersection in that last sentence.
We left the s out.
It said "interection."
We almost left it, as we are quite amused by that sort of stuff.


We got an email a week or so ago.

Would you be so kind in posting this on the facebook page? I am trying to spread the word and raise awareness...

We watched the video, and even though one of those cars may
have been us, we agreed to post this.

Now, we know that this type of behavior happens at many large
intersections, especially when people are trying to get to work.

But if calling attention to this ends up stopping a potential tragedy
in this town, we are all for it.

I Love Ya, Tomorrow...

You're only a day away...


We aren't big fans of Annie, but damn it, we love Thanksgiving.

And tomorrow is the big day.

We considered talking about the 007-style oil spill on the turnpike.

We also thought about how tonight is the biggest party night (with
people you didn't talk to in high school) of the year.

And that bars like Gunny's, Joe's Place and many others will be
packed with old friends, and various letterman jackets.


But this night is bigger than all of us.

It's about family time.
It's about reflecting on stuff that makes life worth living.
It's about drunk aunts, and pervy uncles.
It's about annoying cousins.
It's about watching your grandfather make a dead turkey
do a "turkey-fly" around the house until it's time to cook that SOB.
It's about sales at department stores.
But most of all, it's about gravy.

Glorious gravy.


It's the nectar of the gods.

Thanksgiving just wouldn't be the same without it.

Well, maybe it would?

It would just be a lot dryer, and much less flavorful.




-

And here's a little note from the Mayor's Office...

Garbage pickup for Friday, November 25, 2011, will be ONE DAY LATE in the City of New Kensington due to the Thanksgiving Day Holiday. Garbage will be picked up on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2011. Also there will be NO RECYCLING for residents whose recycling is picked up on Thurday or Friday for this week only.

If you don't stop by here tomorrow to see us, have a great
Thanksgiving!

Shootin They Faces Off

We aren't sure what it is about video games that make people
decide to email us, but we're cool with it.

Some folks told us to grow up.
Some wanted to play along side of us.
Some were just trying to get a booty call.

But no matter what they said, none of it compared to the
masterwork we received our good buddy, Frank the Stank.

Get your popcorn ready...

What up newk dudes. this your boy frank the stank. You know
i was out monday nite makin sure i gots my hands on a fresh copy
of mw3. and its poppin off right now in my xbox. i dont even no why
i took a minute away from it to write thiis but you gota get it. you
said you rock the ps3 which is pimp. cause my moms is tired of
me askin for 50 clips every 6 months to pay for xbox live. but whatev
cause that be why she work nights at eat n park. so her son can have the finer
things in life. go get this game.
Alright yo. im gonna go back to shootin they faces off.
your boy- frank the stank

Fact is, Frank, we got the game.

And we are also shootin faces off.

Yo I Loves That Song

Its be a while.

Its been a long long while.

Since we have heard from our boy Frank the Stank.

So you could imagine our delight last night when we read this...

Yo newk dudes
that picture you posted yestreday of under the bridge yeah that was bad ass fer sure. then you finished it off with the red hot chilli peppers lyrycs .. you all had me singin yo .. under the bridge down town..is where i drew sum blood. Yo i loves that song. it reminds me of when i was young and people wasnt all highstrung and stuff. you know. people these days are in such a big hurrry to get places. it drive s me crazy. loco you know? oh snap that reminds me of another decent song... insane in the memmbrane.. insane in da brain!
peace and chicken grease-
frank the stank

We are setting the over/under on how many PBR's Frank had before he
wrote that email at 9.

Place your bets.

Batpic?

We really do have the best readers.

It's just that sometimes our readers don't have the
best camera phones.

We got a text yesterday (only our closest or readers get our
text hotline, so now you have something to work towards).

That text had a picture in it, and the text was titled...

"My phone camera suckkkkkkks"

A truer statement has never been texted.

But the picture...

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, the picture...

Is awesome!



We looked at this picture with great wonderment.

A few minutes, and confused looks later, we texted back to
find out what the hell we were blankly staring at.

We got our answer...

It's the bat mobile!

Our friend was downtown having lunch, and saw some of the
filming of the new Batman movie.

Being a solid friend, she took a picture and sent it to us.

We told her that it was probably the greatest picture we have ever
received, and likely ever would.

We then told her it would be posted immediately.

She was stoked.


To the rest of you (and you also, C.), feel free to keep great
pictures coming.

Send em to our email, if you aren't on the "Yes Friends" text list.

thenewkblog@gmail.com



-


We posted a J-Dub game yesterday.

It was great success.


We got a bunch of emails from winners.

This one stood out...

Hey guys,


He’s in the Leffe six pack. Great blogsite you have goin on here. I currently live in San Antonio, TX, but lived in New Ken until 80’. Went in the military and was stationed down south til 93’. Got out of the military and by then everything had changed (shutdown) back home so decided to stay down here. I lived on the corner of 5th st and 6th ave on the second floor of the house. Keep up the good work. Its nice to hear that things seem to be picking back up again.



Laters


J

We love those emails.

Thanks, J!

And thanks as well to the rest of you for playing and emailing.

Well played.

Odds And Ends (6/24/11)

Today we are just gonna post some random stuff that
people either emailed us, or posted on our awesome
facebook page.

You too can join the fun.

"The sign @ the Dairy Queen says it's opening Sat!"

-Jamie

That is awesome news!

We will for sure be there.

Here's hoping we don't have to have anxiety when we order
like we always did before.

Did Vocelli's Pizza in Lower Burrel close?

-Brian

We could neither confirm or deny this, but our call
went unanswered.

Your site sucks and your stupid.

-Unsigned (via email)

You might be onto something here.

It very well could suck, and we may be stupid.

But we know how to properly spell "you're."

So we have that going for us.



-

See you all tonight at Community Days.

Check the other day's post for details.

Oh yeah...

Here is a great picture sent to us to make us hungry.

It's the 3800 lbs of potatoes going to be served up by the NKFD.

Yum.

Reader Needs An Answer

We get lots of emails.

Some of them are funny.
Some are informative.
And some are downright mean.

This one asks a question that we are unable to answer.

Any help from our readers would be appreciated.

Hey guys, Found the NEWK a while back and I love checkin on all the goings on back home you post. Was back in February and was downtown on 5th. There is a security company of sorts near where Isaly's used to be. Near there, there's a storefront with all kinds of Alex Jones pictures and stuff as well as outside speakers rebroadcasting Alex Jones' internet radio show. Curious to know what they're selling or what the story is. Any ideas?

-Dave

We really have no idea here.

We are too young to even remember where Isaly's was.
And we have no idea who Alex Jones is.

Mr. Jones ran the library at Valley when we attended,
but Alex isn't his first name.

New Ken Gettin Props

It's been a good week for our inbox.

One good email ofter the next.

This one comes from Luke.

Yo man, I was playing mass effect 2 when I happened upon the planet pictured. I think if I had landed there would have been an arby's, a six and save, and a little Chinese joint, LOL

Until Later Days,
Luke

Seriously.

How great has this website become?

We are blown away.


Have a great weekend, everyone.

We can't wait to see what you send us next.

Newk Dudes Are Baller

This week is our 2 year anniversary.

We were posting some of our old favorites.

The only thing able to stop this nostalgic trip down
mammary lane, is an email from our good pal,
Frank the Stank.

Get cozy, and enjoy...

Yo newk! this your your boy frank the stank. I seen that you was havin an annusversary of 2 years. and i wanted to send an email and say that you newk dudes are baller! i feel like i been reading dis for like mad years. not just 2. Im thinkin like 7 years or sumpthin. but i beleive you when you say its only been the 2. oh snap..... turrible twos! Stuffs about to get real interestting around here huh. I remember when i turned 2. my mom got all pissed at me and my brother 'tommy two times' cause we was watchin fat albert and was all...... hey hey heeeeeeyyyyyy. Like a bunch of times real loud and stuff. she was mad heated. i miss being 2. alright later.
frank the stank

With each email, our fondness for young Francis grows like
a virgin wiener at the nudie club.

And the more we learn of his fascinating life, the more
we crave.

We may have a problem here.


Turrible Twos!!!

Urban Renewal In The Newk

You people are on fire.

If you keep sending us awesome emails, we may have enough
time to finally leave our parents basement and see what this
"fresh air" stuff is all about.

Get a load of this...

Guys, if you are in a pinch for a pic, you can thank my wife for dutifully snapping the shots that I put together in this composite to show the progression from eyesore to potential for something better. Take care, and HAPPY SPRING!!

Huge thanks to Top 10 Reader Ed, and Top Ten Reader
Ed's Wife!

You both rock.

Keep reading, and keep being awesome humans.

What Happened To Pizza Fest?

Every now and again, an email stands out over the others.

This is one of those emails.

Actually, it's a masterwork.

This person rules.

Hey Guys-

Just wanted to tell you that I love your site, I've been reading just about daily for over a year now. You probably won't tell me, BUT who are you??? I think I might know at least one of you, I'm pretty sure we graduated the same year at Valley... Did you know Ms. Dunn NO longer teaches swim? How upsetting is that? Last I heard, she actually was the health teacher and she rides around in one of those old person scooters. Remember her obsession with Mickey Mouse? Anyways, like I was saying, I totally know one of you. Those Biff shirts are awesome, if you are who I think you are, you should totally hook me up with one, a small should fit.


OK- so I'm e-mailing you for a specific reason. I remember reading about starting Pizza Fest. I don't, however, remember reading about any actual pizza eating? What is up with that NEWK? I have a whole list of pizza places you can go try out. Hell, I'd even go with you. Actually, what do you say? Need another belly to fill on your dime?

Well regardless, I wanted to tell you about a trip I recently took to Eazers. I even took pictures for you! (I'm totally not trying to get on your website, although a first time shout out would be friggin awesome) Back to my breakfast. It really was like the best breakfast ever, I hadn't been to Eazers in YEARS, for whatever reason I kept choosing Kings and Dennys and Eat-n-Parks for quick and local meals... GAG, RIGHT?

So anyways- I may or may not have still been drunk... so when I opened the menu to find a 20oz glass of Kool-aid for $1.50 I almost pee'd my pants... I regret not ordering it, I should have at least asked what flavor they had stirred up that day, but I didn't and I must live with that choice. I opted for a chocolate milkshake and that, my friends, was NOT something I regret. It was effing delicious. After about an hour we finally decided what we wanted to eat.. and it was... Chocolate Chip Pancakes, over easy eggs bacon and , hands down, the best Syrian bread in the world. OH and also some sort of breakfast scramble that came with potatoes and eggs and peppers and probably sausage too, Like I said I may or may not have still been drunk so I don't recall the name, or the actual ingredients, All I know is, it came with more of that wonderful bread and it was the bomb. OH, and it contained two slices of land o lakes yellow american cheese melted on top. It was the best breakfast I've had in a while.

At one point while enjoying this feast, I seen a couple of dark eyes peering over the partition.... these weren't the eyes of an innocent, curious child either. It was a little on the creep-o side, BUT the fact that that thin orange plastic, a little duct tape, and some elbow grease kept those creepy peepers from making direct eye contact, was extremely comforting. We left, after a couple hours, a few apple juices and chocolate milks later, feeling full to the max, a little bit tired, and a lot a bit like the family of Eazers was OUR family. I really don't know why it had been such a long time in between stops at this restaurant. I do know that the food and the atmosphere was comforting, the whole experience, drunk or sober was somewhat nostalgic. It reminded me of what a great town I'm from. Little family run restaurants that have stood the test of time, in my partially run down city, makes this a place I want to be apart of forever. Even if brown eyed creepy crawlies are lurking on the opposite side of the booth.

I wanted to share our experience with you because you are one of the very few people(s) to openly share your passion for the good of the town, and the strength of the community. I'm on your side NEWK. I want good things to come to and from my town, and I want to help make the difference. I applaud you for the positive mark you are leaving. It's beyond inspiring.

Now when is your party? Me and my hot friends want on the VIP list.

-Born and Raised NEWKette.

-

Thanks so much Newkette!

Awesome write up and pictures!

But we are sad to inform you, that you probably don't know us.

We hid in dark corners in high school, and only talked
to teachers and other blog nerds.
(Even though blogs weren't invented yet.)


But Pizza Fest will still happen.

And our party planning is in the works.


Stay tuned, and keep those friends on standby.

Answering Your Questions

Today, we plan on answering a few emails we've received recently.

We get a good bit of email, that resemble the forthcoming ones.

This is a nice way for us to clear up some common questions
every now and again.

Let's get this party started...

Dear theNewK,

I try and read your website every day. It really cracks me up. I just wanted to know why you do it?

Thanks!

-A.

Well, A.

This is a common question, that we have a simple answer to.

It's because we are proud of where we are from, and grew tired
of people (even it's own citizens) talking bad about it.

Some residents would lower their heads when asked where they
are from.

That does not make us happy.

So we decided to try and change the mindset of our fellow Newkers.

We have a lot to be proud of, but nobody seemed to be pointing
those things out.

So here we are.

Like us or hate us, we decided to try and change how this town/area
is perceived by the masses.

And we don't plan on stopping any time soon.

Hi Newk,

Who writes this site?

I think I know you.

-Jennifer

Hello Jennifer.

This question finds its way to our inbox weekly.

We generally answer it by responding...

"We're Batman."

But today, we will answer this question for real.


It's time.

We've hidden for long enough.

We are not Batman, we are...




Michael Keaton.

Yo newk dudes
Whats the haps on the bday party you was talkin bout a little while back? you know ima be there.

frank the stank

What up, Frank?

So yeah, we are trying to get some stuff squared away
with the party planning committee.
(That we so lovingly call "The Spirit Fingers Gang.")

As soon as we have a date, place, reason... we will tell everyone
about it asap.


-
That concludes our email answering session for today.

Have a great Tuesday, friends.

Too Kind

Yesterday we told you about the sickness that has
gripped theNewk team.

Although our request for soup went unfulfilled, there
was a large showing of concern vie email.

(The source we suspect led to our illness.)

Within the numerous emails, there was one in particular
that stood out above the others.

Please note, we appreciate all of the well wishes.

It's just we thought this one was the best, and most sincere.

Hey newk
I just seen that you all was sick and stuff and that made me sad. i hate being sick yo. its the werst. What kind a sick are you. is it the kind that got your head feelin like a baloon filled with wet sand. Or is it the kind that makes you sit on the toilet a whole bunch until it hurts to whipe? What ever it is i hope you feel way better like really soon. Id hate to not have somewheres to get my daily news. Eat the vitaminC. My moms said that helps.

feel better
frank the stank md.

Thank you Dr. The Stank, for the care and support you
extended our way.

It's nice to know we are in your thoughts.

And we're not trying to say that your mother is wrong, but
it's been proven that the use/overuse of vitamin C does not
help in battling a head cold.

Or any ailment for that matter.

But if taking it makes you feel better, we suggest you
continue using it.




We're gonna go pound some clear liquids, and try not to
cough on each other.



-

Charlie Sheen has nothing to do with the Newk, or
our sickness.

But he's everywhere else, so this is our way of staying on top
of current events.