Dear NewK...

We here at the NewK receive emails every now and again.

Some of them contain news.
Some tell us about events.
Some promise us dreams of bigger genitalia.

But every once in a while, one email sticks out more than the others.

Here is one of those...

Dearest NEWK-

I have been reading this site ever since I stumbled across it on the facebook. It keeps me informed, and also tends to make me smile. I appreciate what you are doing. If I could make a suggestion? Please do more restaurant reviews, as I am very interested in your likes and dislikes. I am in no way stalking you all, it's just interesting to me. And while I'm at it, maybe answer a few questions for your readers?

What is your favorite color?
Who was your favorite high school teacher?
Are you good at sports?
Boxers or briefs?
What's your favorite beer?
Sexiest part of a woman's body?
iPhone or BlackBerry?
What's your home address?
Have you ever punched someone in the face?

Thanks,

15068er

So there you have it. We'll call it the email of the week.

We should probably answer these questions.

Let's do this.


What is your favorite color?
Red

Who was your favorite high school teacher?
Mr. Guzik. He failed me, but was hilarious while doing it.

Are you good at sports?
Does a bear climb a tree in Mt. Vernon?

Boxers or briefs?
Ventilated boxer briefs.

What's your favorite beer?
Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat.

Sexiest part of a woman's body?
Tramp stamp.

iPhone or BlackBerry?
You know what they say, "blacker the berry."

What's your home address?
724 Creepy Question Dr. New Kensington, Pa. 15068

Have you ever punched someone in the face?
Does family count?


Do you feel any closer to us now?
We didn't think so.

Either way, all of your comments and emails are cherished by us.
So please keep sending them.
theNEWK

Have a great weekend everybody.

-home-

Dirtydale.

It seems that an unspecified soot is raining down on
the town known as Springdale.

People noticed the dirt on their vehicles and their homes.
(I also noticed something 2 weeks ago on my Glen's Custard chocolate cone,
that didn't look like any sprinkle I've ever seen.)

It took me 2 seconds to realize I was going to eat that cone, even if
a goose dropped a fly-by sky deuce on it. So I forewent the drawn out
task of using my Popeil forensics kit that would have been required for a refund.

So back to the real story...

Samples were collected and taken to the local soot factory
to see if it were theirs.

It wasn't theirs. If you can believe it.

It was then thought that the power plant might be responsible.
Never.

They agreed to get the unknown substance tested to see if they
were be the ones to bitch at.

The plant also said it could be ash from the weekend restart of the facility.
Which they said has happened in the past.

Fear not, friends. The Allegheny Health Department is on top of it.

"This is soot that, while it is a nuisance, doesn't pose any long-term public health issues," Zazac (AHD spokesman) said.

Whatever.
We've always wanted to meet the real Erin Brockovich.

Pens win.

I doubt that anything more important is going on in the NewK today.
But if there is, we will surely be on top of it (like Leo on Bar).

We're off to celebrate more.

Not So Random Picture Tuesday.

If you read yesterday's post, you'll understand why it's
not so random.

Have an awesome Tuesday.

We love Tuesdays.

They are like the foreplay to hump day.

We like foreplay.

Splish Splash.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Blasting Off?

We posted about the lack of fireworks this 4th of July
in theNEWK, recently.

But we have heard through the grapevine, that there might
be a show after all.

A little birdie sent us an email claiming that there may
be a display fired off at the Valley High School stadium.

If any of our readers can confirm or deny this,
please let us know in the comments section.

Or send us an email.

thenewkblog@gmail.com

Have an awesome weekend, and sorry for telling you all
to "go suck on a fart" in yesterday's comments.

Our feelings are easily hurt.

-

In other worldly news, the video game Tetris is celebrating
it's 25th birthday this week.

What does that have to do with theNEWK?

Let's just say a very handsome contributor to this site has spent
many hours in theNEWK, playing that game, while dumping, on his trusty
gameboy.

Level 9, 5 lines - is no match for the "Squatting TetriKing."

Looking For a Reason.

We would love to have a good reason to get a booth
at this year's New Kensington Community Days.

Too bad we are unable to think of any.

Can you think of a reason for us to be there?

If so, please leave us a comment.
If we pick your reason, we might even invite you to come hang
with us at our booth.

Oh snap.




-home-

Wet A Line.

We here at theNEWK feel strongly about many different things...

- Women that don't eat dessert, can't be trusted.
- The designated hitter in baseball, sucks ass.
- Autism research is a must...so please donate.
- In a street fight, the Donut Connection would whip Dunkin' Donuts' hole.
- The Red Wings grab more than a perv in a subway.
- Speaking of subways... Subway > Quizno's
- Family is important.
- Fishing is both fun and relaxing (but probably won't get you laid).
- Children are our furniture.

Those last few points are actually the reason for this post.

This coming weekend, there are a couple different fishing events
for the area's youth and families.

This Saturday at 8am:
Burrell Lake Park is holding a fishing derby.
It's free. 15 years old and younger. Prizes and lunch. Free nightcrawlers.
(You had me at "free nightcrawlers")
Then on Sunday at 1pm:
Northmoreland Park is having a Family Fishing Day.
Learn to cast, tie knots, take off fish and tons of other stuff.

It looks like the weather should cooperate, so get out there and
get some sun on your baldspot, or cleavage, or both.
(Please send pics to theNEWK, if you happen to have both.)



-home-


So Long Tarentum Fun.

We just heard that the yearly lovefest known as
the Tarentum Festival will cease to exist.

The Tarentum City Council passed a new ordinance prohibiting
the sales of alcoholic beverages in public.

That is like placing a ban on punching people in the crotch,
or any other basic human right.

Seriously.

There were some complaints from local residents about property
damage, and reports of public urination.

What did they expect when they moved to Tarentum?

The fire department raises $30k from this festival.
That's a huge amount of money for a fire depot.

They will now plan on selling hoagies and having a gun bash.

Just what this area needs...
More overweight people with firearms.

But honestly, we here at theNEWK will miss that party.
We will never forget the time we rocked out to
John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band.

"Wild Summer Nights"

Either way, we hope the locals are happy...
Maybe the next fire they have, they'll be praying for a public urinator
to help them, as the fire dept. might be short on gas money.


-

(Happy Birthday, my sweet Mia)

Random Picture Monday (06-01-09)

C.L. Schmidt, Sucka.

Recognize.

We're back.
Booyah.


-home-