Take A Look At This

Are the Winter Olympics being held in Fawn Twp?


These, and many other questions answered very soon.

Right here...

at theNewk.




=

Today is 1/11/11

We don't have anything cool to say about it.

Just thought we'd tell you.

Carry on.

Random Picture Monday (01-10-10)

It's not a UFO.


Although, that would be awesome.

Looking Good

There was an article in the papers yesterday, where
our Mayor (Tom Guzzo) pointed out the positive
things going on in New Kensington lately.

And we're like...

"Hey, that's exactly what we try and do."

So in case you didn't read it, or read about these things
on this site, we figured we'd give you some Cliff's Notes.
Here ya go.

New streetlights.
New welcoming sign.
Banners.
Demolishing 30 busted buildings.
At least 9 new businesses.
Computers in cop cars.
Cameras at major intersections.
Extensive officer training.
New grants from Weed and Seed.
3 new neighborhood watch groups.
Garbage bill collection program.
Money for Memorial Park.
Continuation of the Christmas tree recycle program.
And a kick butt holiday dinner to end the year.

The one thing he conveniently left out, was the mention
of an awesome non-profit website dedicated to the many
positive things happening in this city.

It's cool.

We've been dissed before.

As long as he keeps trying to better this city, we won't
hold a grudge for too long.


Maybe he'll read this, and send us a personal email
or something?




------------

Here's your Newk Weekend Weather Report:
(Welcome back, Nic.)

"It's gonna be white and cold, like Vanilla Ice."

Aw Snap!

We get a good many emails.

And like any self respecting website, we have our favorite emailers.

It's not as if we don't appreciate all of the folks that take the time to write us.

Cause we do.

And we tell them so.

But anyways, our pal Frank the Stank hasn't written us for a while, so we were happy to see his name in our inbox.


____

Yo Newk.

This is frank the stank and I want to tell you bout some of my restitutions for the new year. Heres what ima do.... I'm gonna lose me about 14 pounds so I can fit in my new pair of skinny south pole jeans my mama got me for xmas. Then I'm gonnna grab up my girl and take her somewhere nice to eat up at the mills. maybe like the olive gardens or somethin fancy like that. Then on our way back thru town, we gonna drive by all the buildings that be getting tore down. Which I'm happy to see cause they was makin my eyes all sore. I may even hit up the tatttoo shop down the cut from arbys for some fresh ink. I got a prime spot on my neck for a dragon or somfthing evil like that.

have a good year newk people.

Frank the stank

____


We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Have a great Thursday, Friends.

Not Already

Yeah, it looks like it's happening already this year.

No, we haven't quit our diet yet.

We are talking about no news around here.

It really bums us out when we don't have a great story
to share with our tens of readers.

(And let's be honest, we only have that many because
we have rather large families.)

But back to the no news.

We wish we had a crack team of reporters out there everyday,
drumming up hot stories from the beat.

But, we don't.

We are actually quite the lazy bunch.

If a news story doesn't smack us in the head, like a
line-drive foul ball down the third base side of PNC Park,
knocking the delicious nachos from our peanut shell dusted
fingers, and nearly spilling our $8 Iron City, we likely don't
have anything to write about that day.

And another reason we suck today, is because we have
some sort of seasonal sickness hitting us rather hard.

Every time we are around children for the holidays, those
mouth-breathing little petri dishes always infect us with the
current trends in cold and flu.

So it seems we've come down with a certified case
of Bieber Fever.


There you have it.

We have nothing good to talk about today.

But we hope you enjoyed reading this, nonetheless.



-
And you people want a sixth day of this dross?

Insanity.

New Beginnings

We enter each new year with hope that this year,
will be better than the one before it.

Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.

One thing we know for sure, is you shouldn't begin a
year by giving up on something you truly care about.

See, a while back, we started receiving emails requesting
we not only write something 5 days a week, but that we
also write a post on Saturdays.

The gentleman's name was simply "Rich."

These emails had an underlying tone of anger.

He made no mistake about his yearning for more of us.

If you read this site often, no doubt you've seen his work.

After the first couple, we changed his moniker to
"Angry Rich."

He fought it at first, but seemed to accept this new
nickname, as it was based upon fact.

Now, we haven't heard from Angry Rich for a while.
Not even a Christmas card.
WHAT THE EFF, RICH!?!?!?!

We digress.

On January 2 of 2011, we received this email titled...

Throwing In The Towel

I give up.

Angry Rich

Damnit, Rich.

We can't let you start off this new year by giving up.

Grab yourself by your likely too tight underwears (probably
the root of said anger), and get back on your angry horse,
named Rage.

Don't stop believing.

A Saturday post could one day happen.

Crazier things are going on in this world.

Like Carson Daly having a job.



Let this be a lesson to all of you.

The year 2011 will only be what you make of it.

If it sucks, it's your fault.

Seize the year, people.

Seize the year.

Random Picture Monday (01-03-10)

2011: The Year Of The Panda

It's Hard, To Say Goodbye, To 2010

Hey there friends.

Happy Newk Year!

We won't be posting an old story today, as there is a much
more important post that needs to be made.


We've told you a little about this past year for us.

It was challenging.
It was refreshing.
It was a roller coaster ride of emotion.
It flew right by.

We made wonderful new friends.
Ate fabulous new things.
Visited amazing new places.

We will be a little sad to see this year go.

But we look forward, with bright and hopeful eyes, that the
year 2011 will be then best of all our lives.

One thing we know about 2011, we are gonna ring it
in the right way.

By dancing like mo-fo's.

That's right.

We love to dance the night away.

Our moves have been known to make panties drop right off
the ladies.

If you haven't heard this, well... now you know.

If you have a party, and need some dancing fools, just send
us an email and we'll see you there.

We know that not all of you can dance like a Soul Train champion.

So our Newk Years gift to you, is the following video.

It's a scorcher, so prepare yourselves.

It features a young James Brown.

And before you watch it, and say...
"Hey, that's not JB. It's an Imposter!"

Pay close attention, cause it's him.

We don't play around when it comes to the Godfather Of Soul.



Now take this year by the gonads.

And dance like the wind!




Oh, and please be safe.

Drinking and driving sucks for everyone.

Year In Review (2010) - Thursday Edition

Today we focus on destruction.

Similar to the destruction bestowed upon our commodes
after a trip to the Chinese buffet or a stop at the
Pizza Hut.

But anyways, this post was about a structure that we are
all familiar with.

But none of us were sad to see go.


Are we talking about Sha-Kei's Place?

No.

Are we talking about the Zebra Lounge?

Negative.


Here is what we're talking about...


And The Bridge, Comes Tumbling Down

Year In Review (2010) - Wednesday Edition

The more we look back at what we've wrote this past
year, we realized a few things.

Two of those things are the facts that we're a bit nuts, and
waaaaaay pervy.

The post we are featuring today showcases both of
those fine traits.

Ya'll ready for this?


Rough Roads And Waterlines