Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Yo, What Up Dog?

We here at theNewk love dogs.


We would be lost without our pooch.

Why are we talking about our dog?

Because we love her, and she's totally awesome.

But the real reason dogs are today's subject, is
because later this month, the state dog wardens will
be canvasing New Kensington looking for unlicensed
and non vaccinated dogs.

They will be handing out hefty fines for said

And they should.

Because a dog license is only a few bucks, and you
deserve a fine for more than just not getting
the license.

You should also be fined for being cheap and lazy.

That's an interesting point we make.
(Oh thanks for noticing.)

How fun would it be, if it were your job to uncover and
fine people for annoying personal traits?

Here are some fines we would hand out:

Nose Picking - $200
Fingernail Biting - $150
(An additional $50 if they spit them)
Lazy Dog Owner - $250
Sweaty Palmed Hand Shakers - $175
Political Facebook Status Updater - $500
Know It All - $325
Constant Interrupter - $200
One-Upper - $375

We know a few people that would go broke if we
had this power.

So to wrap it up...

Get your dog a license, and get them vaccinated.

And stop being so annoying.

See ya tomorrow.


Chris said...

License cats, too.

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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.