Tuesday, July 13, 2010

And The Bridge, Comes Tumbling Down

Today is the big day.

We just love Embrace Your Geekness Day!

No no.

Although, yes, it is Embrace Your Geekness Day, that's
not what we are talking about.

It's demolition day for the old turnpike bridge in Harmar.

Hell yeah.

So at 10am this morning, 200 pounds of explosives will be
used to blow a huge chunk of bridge out (the truss), and send
it careening out of control, into the innocently murky
waters of the Allegheny River below.

(Whoa, we almost sounded literate there. Go ahead, and
read it again. Impressive stuff, eh?)

Actually, it will partially land on that little island in between
Harmar and Oakmont.

(Too bad it couldn't land smack dab on that stupid brick road
in Oakmont. Oh how we hate that road.)

Moving on.

Officials say it won't be an awe-inspiring explosion.

Either way, most people won't even get to see it, unless
they are on the river.

But river traffic will be limited, so nobody gets to watch.


Keep it a big secret, ya babies.

Now, if you are traveling that way, be prepared to be stopped
for as long as 20 minutes.

Think about that.

20 minutes stuck in your car, is like watching 20 minutes of
Cocoon 2: The Return.


Damn you, Don Ameche!

They also said there probably won't be much of a ground
tremor, as the explosion will happen in the air.

If we had to guess, it will probably feel similar to when we
blast some gas down deep into our lazy-boy, without
bothering to lift a cheek.

Sort of a muffled rumble.

Officials do expect an air shock wave to cause some
vibration, but nothing damaging.

(We'd make another fart joke here, but we've already
used up our daily allowance, of one.)

Now here's a crazy number.

3.2 million.

That's the number of dollars, that the Pa. Turnpike is
spending to demolish this bridge.

No wonder it costs like a buck to drive to Monroeville.

So have fun not watching.

We sure will.


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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.