Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tarentum Is Under Attack

You read that correctly.

Tarentum, Pa. is currently in the battle of it's lifetime.

So please be sure to use extreme caution when entering the Tarentum
city limits.

We are being serious here.

There is a chance you won't make it out of there alive.

There is also a chance you'll be extremely lucky when you leave there.

How is this possible?

Well, it has everything to do with the enemy.

And you will know this enemy when you see them, as they will be wearing red.

No, it's not the communists.
(No matter what Glenn Beck is telling you.)

Well, what could it be?


That's right...

Ladybugs.(And by the looks of things, there will soon be a couple more.)

Yeah, it seems they are attacking a few strongholds in the borough.

And there is nowhere to hide, once they besiege upon you and your bunker.

They will penetrate any crack available.
(As if this is news to you, after seeing the previous picture.)

The experts tell us they are only looking for a warm place to "cuddle" for
the long and cold winter months.

But we know better.

Cuddling leads to spooning, and spooning leads to forking.

The experts also tell us in case of an attack, to suck them up with a vacuum cleaner,
rather than smooshing them on your walls.

And by the looks of these little perverts, they will probably enjoy the sucking.

Editor's Note:
Okay, we may have crossed the line on that last joke.
If you were at all insulted by it, please let your voice be heard and email us.
Better yet, we suggest you get in your car, start driving around, and try to
locate a better sense of humor.

Again, we urge you to use great caution when heading to Tarentum.

Please listen to our advice.
We may just save your life, or better yet...your innocence.

Editor's Note #2:
We don't actually have an editor.
It's the same guy that's writing the rest of this nonsense.
He is sensitive, so please be polite when sending any complaint emails.


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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.