Friday, August 27, 2010

The Rainbow 2: Electric Boogaloo

David Cooper and I love wings.

That is not news.

We also like beer.


We ate wings.
We drank beer.
I drank too many and couldn't write anything.
He is responsible.
He wrote this.
He took the pictures.
He is a beast.
His website is...
The Rainbow 2: Electric Boogaloo

It should come as no surprise that The Newk’s crew are a hungry bunch. An army marches on it’s stomachs; we goof off in much the same way. As the writing staff decided to spend the evening playing championship trivia games and making deck hockey plans, it fell upon me, the staff photographer, to write tonight’s piece about our return to The Rainbow in Freeport. Someone has to work around here.

Yes, we’ve reviewed The Rainbow before. So what?

No, we’re not biased. Well, we are a little. The owners are totally super awesome people and stuff. Shop locally, always.

Yes, The Rainbow still has fabulous wings.

No, it’s not a gay bar.

It’s here that I apologize in advance for my pictures. The word photography comes from the root Greek meaning “writing with light.” The problem is that The Rainbow is a dark, dark place. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just that no light means no photos. Ronnie James Dio (god rest his tiny little soul) had this place in mind when he wrote his masterpiece Rainbow in the Dark. If the photos seem a bit sketchy, you can blame my laziness. I didn’t want to drag lights in and disturb the other patrons. Plus, I was really hungry. Do you know how hard it is to have a plate full of delicious food in front of you and not be allowed to eat it because some jerky photographer has to get pictures? It’s hard, I tell ya.

On to the task at hand. Simply put, The Rainbow has awesome wings. One day long ago a crack appeared in the sky and the hand of God descended, delivering the recipe to some of the most magically delicious wings you’ve ever tasted. You’ve been living an empty, meaningless life if your wing experiences consist only of manufactured corporate wings from Quaker Steak or some other chain restaurant. You deserve better than that. Really, you do. These wings are a perfect blend of salt and seasoning with just enough spice to make them out of this world. If you want some more heat, just get some of their signature hot sauce on the side. The Rainbow sauce is just as good, minus the heat.

In addition to the wings, we decided to order from the special list on the board by the door. Always, always try the special. They’re called ‘special’ for a reason, and we weren’t disappointed. A basket of mini tacos magically appeared, and magically disappeared just as quickly. These deep fried bites are little bits of pure joy and love and happiness. If I ate deep fried tacos every day I’d probably die a horrible, bloated, completely satisfied death, but there are rare times when deep fried mini tacos are not only right but necessary for survival.

On the side we got an order of Rainbow Nachos, an enormous platter of chips drowning in cheese and chicken. Another rule of thumb: If a place names a dish after itself, you know it has to be good. I had no idea what Rainbow Nachos were when I ordered them, but I said ‘yes’ without hesitation. They didn’t let us down.

A big thanks and a tip of the hat to Tina for such wonderful service, and also to the dudes from the tattoo parlor around the corner for playing a bunch of Misfits songs on the jukebox. Wings and Misfits are two great tastes that go great together.

Would you, Constant Reader, like to see more restaurant reviews? Do you own a restaurant? Send your recommendations to and remember that we are easily bribed with food. We don’t let journalistic ethics get in the way of a tasty meal.


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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.