Friday, July 10, 2009

All Hail

I need you to listen up, because this might be the most important thing
we've ever had to say.

Seriously. Ever.

We've talked about life, death, family, friends, love, Big Brother and all
kinds of other life changing issues.

So let us get right down to it.

For the last 2 years or so, we here in the Newk area have been deprived.
Deprived of a basic American right.
A right that's as pure as an eagle's heart.
A right that shines like a lightning bug's ass, just before the fireworks go
off on the 4th of July.
A right as delicious as a Whopper with cheese, and a slice of Hershey Pie.


That's exactly what we are talking about.

We have been without a local Burger King for way too long.

In one of the greatest mysteries to ever plague our little part of the world.
(Other than who stole Chessie, from Cheswick Pools back in 1992.
That one still needs put to bed.)

But didn't it seem like the big wigs at the BK had something against us?

The New Ken one shut down, Vandergrift turned off the lights for good,
Harmarville sh@t the bed, and we can't even remember if the Heights had one.

We put many a mile on our respective vehicles, making the journey to Golden Mile or
even the Etna exit for a Whopper Jr value meal and a wicked new crown.

But the unimaginable has happened...

The Harmar BK has reopened!

If we could make that last sentence flash red and gold and sparkly, like
those obnoxious myspace pictures, we would.

Yeah, the other day our significant other surprised us with a fresh and
scrumptious meal for lunch. It was amazing.


Yeah, I know you are.

So there you have it.
We had to alert our friends to this fact.

Now get out there and dine.
But please don't order all the hershey pies, cause they were out the other day.

Greedy oinkers.


Not quite red and gold sparkles, but we'll take it.


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Thanks for the input. Keep it real.